My son needs his daddy...

Hi, I have a situation that I am currently in. My boyfriend was in jail for 4 months and just now got deported to Guatemala. He has been her for 6 years. We have been together for almost 2 years. Well, we have a 11 month old boy and he needs his dad. He wants to come back but they have banned him for 10 years. Is there anything I can do to get him back here to be with me and his son? There has to be something possible that can be done. Why would they allow families be torn apart? It's not like you can help who you love.

But you can help committing crimes and landing in jail and you can help coming here illegally in the first place.

No one is "allowing" families to be torn apart--except for the two who created a family without the benefit of legal immigration status as well as the person who committed the crime for which to be banned. The fact he apparently was here illegally and the fact he is a criminal should be overlooked because you chose to have child with a man of this caliber?

The governments fault? Seriously?

I am sorry for the grief your child will feel growing up with out a father, but please understand exactly who is responsible for that tragedy.

Ok Grace,
That's a valid point,but what about people who have been in the States all there lives,legally.Lets say they immigrated with the whole family at 1 or 2
or in my case 4,we grow up going to the same grade school,the same middle school,the same high school.We play sports on the same teams,we date the same girls even if it kills you to know that.We also have the same posabilities of committing a crime,only thats when everything changes,now were dealing with double jeopardy ,we finish are sentence then we get deported.And that
would be ok, if the goverment would educate immigrants.How does a 1 year old know that he can get deported at 37,because he immigrated at one ,did anybody explain it to him.Believe me young kids do not spend there time studieng immigration laws,thats the farthest thing from ther mind.And the goverment does seperate families,the government does not care if you have lived 40 years or 1 month in the states,and i believe that to be wrong.
Because look you put in all those years working your but off,for your pension ,your retirement.All of a sudden your left with nothing,you dont even have your health,you screwed up your health working 12 hours a day mixing all those chemical to help build the infrastructure of the U.S.Your booted to a country that you dont even know.But the worst is that famalies are being seperated,kids are left all screwed up in the head,I know because my daughter is struggling,i raised her until the day i was deported ,she was 16,i have'nt seen her for two years.She's now living with her mom in oregon,she dropped out of high school,we seperated when she was 3,she probrable saw her mom 10 times in 13 years.So Grace , famalies are being seperated,kids do suffer mental problems,are left without emotional and economic support.
And dont say well she can visit you whenever she wants ,are you going to pay for her to travel,no your not.People earn 50 to 70 dollars a week,and thats whenever you can find a job.

You just stated "been in the states all their lives LEGALLY". Had you been IN the states legally you would not have been deported. You say the whole family migrated here LEGALLY. Where's the problem, then?

What an incredibly prejudicial statement. Although I was born in the United States, I am Italian. Nothing in MY posting suggested racial bias whatsoever. I find it a reflection on your mindset to assume it would "kill" me to know" I had people of other nationalities "dating" the same girls as me. (although I don't date women). What about my posting which states LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES implies a disgust that people of other nationalities are going to school with me.

Prejudice is alive and well ---thanks for displaying yours.

Absolutely NOTHING in my posting remotely suggested that you have a higher rate of committing crimes. Where did you see that?

And as far as educating immigrants---I have to laugh. YOUR point is that a person is an immigrant (illegal) and he DOESN'T know it for FORTY years---but you expect the GOVERNMENT to know it, identify it and then take it upon themselves to EDUCATE them? What do you mean by "educate" specifically?

* HERE IS THE BOTTOM LINE* ---and it is offensive to any rational person to see you dancing around it.

There is no POSSIBLE way an illegal immigrant could be here for forty years and NEVER have cause to be confronted with his illegal status.

There have been DOZENS of times people are called upon to provide proof of citizenship, drivers license, social security card, employment job applications, travel visas, marriage certificates, applying for government assistance, school enrollment, giving birth to children and obtaining THEIR birth certificates, not to mention GRADE school through high school which addresses IN varying degrees the idea of immigration, Ellis Island, people coming to American and the word IMMIGRATION--my kids have heard it since grade one--and on and on the list goes. You want readers to believe that one day at age forty someone said * THUD* OMG!! WHAT?????? I am an ILLEGAL??? NO WAY!!!

NEVER once in 40 years have you been called upon to provide a BIRTH CERTIFICATE? No one believes that. It is a shallow argument that takes away from any remnant of legitimacy your position may have otherwise.

Your premise is that Mr. Lawbreaker, who has no regard for the fact that he ( an example) stole an automobile, or assaulted someone, DOES care about a booklet that tells him he is not here legally? Bereft of the moral code while committing criminal acts, but conscientious about immigration statutes had the government "done its job to educate him"? Pffftttttt. I'm going to assume that anyone who commits a crime resulting in DEPORTATION doesn't really CARE of their paperwork is in order.

YOUR first statement contradicts the rest of your posting. YOU said the family was here LEGALLY. How did you get deported if you are a LEGAL citizen?

Here is a risky thought. If you are looking for a place to lay blame ( and it's clear you already don't want it at the feet of someone who has, undoubtedly been given dozens of opportunities to correct the situation in forty years ) then lets lay the blame at the selfish parents who brought you to this country and NEVER recognizing the fact that this situation may arise someday and everything the kid worked for growing up would be gone. Do you think the PARENTS who committed the first illegal act in coming in wrongly have ANY responsibility? (I assume they came here wrongly since if your first sentence IS correct and they were legal, you would not have been deported).

People who commit crimes of ANY kind always find a reason to make it someone else's responsibility. And, blaming the people who MAKE the laws isn't a new idea.

Again that was the commodity with which you gambled. No one forced you to choose this work. If you weren't willing to accept the risk, then don't choose that line of work. You won't see me being a police officer or truck driver. Those are professions I admire greatly, but would not assume the risk of either. No one made me. No one made you. Is there a remote possibility the reason he TOOK a job like this was to remain "under the radar"? Wait--I forgot. He never KNEW he was an illegal. Right.


And dont say well she can visit you whenever she wants ,are you going to pay for her to travel,no your not.People earn 50 to 70 dollars a week,and thats whenever you can find a job.[/quote]

I am a widow with seven school aged children. Do you know what widow means? It means their father is DEAD. Do you see the difference? He did nothing to be taken from their life except be on a stretch of road with an oncoming bus on the wrongside of the road. I'm afraid you won't get a lot of sympathy from me for children who are hurting because families are divided, ESPECIALLY (are you listening?) because of POOR CHOICES all along the way. WE had no choice. YOU DID. Those choices may have ORIGINATED with someone BEFORE you, but you had EVERY opportunity in forty years to CORRECT it, and STOP the cycle. Pick up the phone and call those who are far away. Not everyone has that option. Put it into perspective.

And here is a thought. It may be logical to assume that after 40 years of being here and not getting caught you very well may have been able to stay another 40 the same way if not for one thing.

HELLO? ANOTHER CHOICE. A CRIME.

Do you think that a person who murders someone forty years ago but never gets caught should be allowed to remain free "since it has been so long"? Lets say he married, had kids--suddenly he is facing DEATH. How is that fair to his family?? It isn't. But be clear about the choices that got him there.

I agree that it is a tragedy of epic proportions that families are torn apart.

But they aren't being torn apart at the hands of a government who made the laws ALREADY IN PLACE when they CHOSE to come here illegally or at least REMAIN here illegally. They are being torn apart at the hands of people who rationalize the laws aren't for them and it's everyone else's fault that they get caught. YOU removed your opportunity to BE legal when you committed a crime.

I never said it was EASY. Anything worthwhile rarely is.

grace,
I'm saying that even if your legaly in the states all your life and you commit a crime,well you get deported.In life, what seperates a 1 year old american from a 1 year old immigrant in terms of growing up,nothing.The same possibilities of commiting a crime exist ,then why not let immigrants know that if you commit a crime you will get deported,why wont the government educate people.Dont look at yourself and say ,well i never commited a crime.
If i could do it then everybody can,thats not the case .You might of been well off,maybee you had great parents.But i did'nt I was raised by my grandmother,who was from mexico ,uneducated ,would not have a clue about immigration law.If your saying that parents should be the one's to educate there children,yes i agree but in some cases it's impossible.My
grandmother was around 60 years old when she immigrated,from a ranch where they did'nt even have electricity,paved roads,or vehicles.Listen,I was an all american guy i played high school baseball,basketball,footbal,was vary popular,an honor student,was completly americanized.i'm just letting you no a little of my background,because you are probrable thinking that i should of known better.But seriously when you've been in the states all your life,you really think that your equal.it's not like somebody thats 20 years old , he may be involved with the legalization procces,things might be explained
to him,I dont know maybee all the consequences are listed.I didn't go through that process and many others also have'nt.listen,i made one mistake in 1995 and in 1996 all the immigration laws changed.Now anybody that has a felony on his record,does'nt matter if it was commited 20 years ago ,has the possibility of being deported.My felony was for being a tranlator,or they called it a middleman,for something that i had no interest in what so ever,just because the person didn't understand english,so i translated.
Now i understand that it was my choice to translate ,i took responsability ,i pleaded guilty,and i did the time.But nobody ever explained to me that i could get deported or would be deported,not my lawyer ,not the DA,or the Judge.If i would have known, i would have never pleaded guilty,i was just trying to put this mess behind me.And why should mexico take back immigrants that legaly lived all there lives in the U.S,did mexico have any influance towards the way the individual turned out,no none what so ever.
The only influence was that of the U.S. Mexico should not take us back,why should they,we've never lived there.Dont have an education in mexico,never paid taxes in mexico,never contributed anything to Mexico.I apologize about the dateing comment,I dont know you and should'nt say anything that might offend you.I never said that i had a higher rate of commiting a crime,i think you might of mis interpret many things.I said that at 1 or even 4 we have the same possibility of commting a crime as a U.S citizen,only difference is that we get deported.Maybee the government should educate us a little, send pamphlets to the schools,something that simple would probrable prevent deportations.Look you just cant change all the laws in 1996,
make everything an agrevated felony.Go back 20 years on felonies and deport people.what good came out of deporting me ,i didnt have a prior criminal record,nothing not even a misdemeanor.I worked for the labors union for 19 years,i was a license contractor,making over $200,000.00 dollars a year.I actually like mexico now that I've been here around 2 1/2 years,only thing is that i barly make enough to pay the bills,i cant help my now 18 year old daughter or my 1 year old son,and that kind of hurts.Grace i'm talking about being legal in the U.S,if you commit a crime you get stripped of your legal residence.whether you've been legal 1 month or 40 years. people make bad decisions all the time, nobody is perfect.But come on Grace if you've been legal all your life,lived in the U.S. all your life,and you commit a crime at 28 or 40 ,then get deported,that just does'nt make any sense.I'm sorry to here about your husband,your right you did'nt have a choice,theres nothing that can be done.But Grace,something can be done about all these deportations,a little education in the public schools.Lets keep famalies together,kids suffer the most.