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Old 09-19-2009, 12:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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DCFS is has took my children and are trying to force me into labor.

My 7 yr. old son is ADHD, and over the past year of being exposed to DCFS has discovered that he can cry "Ouch" and DCFS comes running. My son fell down last week playing with his younger brother and went to school with a cut on his head. DCFS showed up that afternoon taking my 8, 7, and 2 yr old child out of the home claiming I my son said I hit him with a belt. They completely discredited my daughter's, who's in a gifted program at school, statement that it was made up, and claimed she was coached. My son has been in a special behavior class in school for two years for aggressive behavior, lying, stealing, and attention problems. I love my son dearly, but he can be very easily coached or lead; and the investigator spoke to my two oldest children at school before we even knew anything was wrong. I don't beleive that just because a child has a mental illness, behavior problem, or disability that it's a invatation for abuse allegations. Furthermore, I'm 9 months pregnant and I have no belts in my home to support the claim. My children went to my parent's home under temporary custody whatever, and was there less than a week before my son made up a story about my mother hitting my daughter with a plastic hanger. Instead of DCFS filing a report, the social worker came to the house, spoke to my daughter who bluntly said "he's lying again."; and they closed the issue, never bothering to press a issue of her being "coached" since she's not even in our home anymore. They never told me of the incident and I'm sure would prefer me not knowing about it.

Long story short, I was steam rolled. They have been lying to me constantly, and threatening me. My first court hearing the day after they took my kids 9/11, I fainted in the courtroom. As the ambulance took me away the DCFS worker told my husband that if he divorces me and kicks me out the house he can get his son back. At a later visit with my children at the DCFS building she asked my husband again; right in front of our 3 kids and me, "have you thrown her out yet?" Again at our next court hearing on 9/16 the worker and her supervisor approached my husband and I again outside court. The supervisor was laughing and telling me bluntly to my face, "We're taking your baby by the way.. Where are you delivering again?" Then turns to my husband and says "Have you kicked her out the house yet?" My husband responded.. "What do you expect me to do? Kick my 9 month pregnant wife out on the street?" Today, 9/18 the DCFS investigator called our home and when I answered said "Oh are you out of the hospital then?" I just went to the hospital today for a flu test, the only way he could know that would to be watching the hospitals or following us. He then asked me, "So your there with Josh?" I said yes Josh is here, what is this about? He then told me, "oh I was just calling to let you know your going to be found "Indicated" for child abuse and since Josh won't kick you out, we're going the indicated him for neglect as well, because surely he knows how dangerous you are but allows you to stay.

This has been a week of hell, and I'm terrorfied. It's not just a simple matter of I think my rights are being violated.. It's like they're tap dancing all over me. I'm 9 months pregnant and I'm going to be homeless soon without a penny to my name. None of my family or friends who have children can help me, DCFS has me isoilated. If any try to help me, they said they can take they're children as well. Two weeks ago this was the happiest time of my life, now I'm sobbing everytime my baby kicks me or wiggles in my tummy. I don't want to give birth, I can't bare the thought of them ripping my newborn out of my arms the moment he's born. I wish I had a lawyer or someone who could help me, but I have no money to offer. My husband is divorcing me and is only allowing me to stay until the baby is born; for even that DCFS is prosicuting him.
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Old 09-19-2009, 07:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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There HAS to be more to the story than you are telling...........

Tell the rest...... what other incidents have taken place? One child with a scratch one time does not rain down the fire and brimestone of DFCS.

What transpired BEFORE this incident?

How does DFCS "isolate" you? Your husband is going to divorce you because they tell him to? Does he think there is truth to these claims? DFCS cannot bring an indictment against you. They can recommend to the DA that he bring charges but they do not have the legal authority to issue indictments. I

DFCS is trying to tell your husband that they suspect YOU of child abuse, not him. So, if he can provide the children a safe home where they will be "safe" from you until this is sorted out, then HE can have custody of the children. This doesn't automatically mean divorce. What they are describing is not unlike a woman in an abusive situation who stays with a man who abuses her or the children. She has to leave him if she wants to retain custody of the kids and if she does not, she can be charged for keeping them in or allowing them to remain in a dangerous environment.. Of course, the obvious difference is you have not been found guilty of such a thing.......... the DA will have to prove the charges against you....if he even files them, which I feel he will not, if what you are saying is true----and the complete truth.

Do you have priors for abuse? Domestic issues? Have the police been called to your home before? These are not admissions of guilt but they could have laid the foundation for what is happening now.

There is a lot missing from this story......... fill in the blanks. The advice you receive is only as accurate as the details you provide.
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Old 09-19-2009, 10:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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more to story

Yes Ma'am your absolutely right, I was afriad of leaving a novel behind is why I keep it short and sweet the best I could. Forgive me ma'am I've had alot of doors slammed in my face and I was just trying to get out current events in a quick summary in hopes someone would hear me. Yes there were past events, in 2008 my same child had been in a fight at school. He had still been in the mainstream kindergarden at the time, and he wouldn't be removed from the school and put into a different school and behavior class until 1st grade. He was in speak therapy and already had been supended serveral times for fighting and distrupting class.

When I'm not pregnant, I'm a exotic dancer in St. Louis. Three months prioir the report I had a DCFS worked in my club. He attempted to get me to prostitute to him while I preformed a lap dance for him. I refused and threatened to have him thrown out the club; he then left. When my son was in a fight at his school and recieved bruises from the scuffle, the school filed a report. The DCFS investigator they sent to my home was the same man who came in my workplace 3 months prioir. Once he recconized me, he let me know that he was going to the children's school to talk to them. And that as far as he was concerned I was already guilty and surely had beaten my son, but there was a way to make it all go away. He wanted what I wouldn't give him in the club, and I didn't know what to do. I ran and locked myself in our bathroom until my husband returned from picking up the children from school. The investigator had already been to the school to talk to the children, and my son couldn't talk very well. He was still in speak theraphy and the investigator filled in the blanks for my son's garbled explanation.

I lost my kids for 7 weeks and I only got them back because I called the DCFS office and told the supervisor that I was going to go to the press and tell them everything that he did to me, if I didn't get my children back. I told them the only reason why I hadn't done it yet was because I have alot of family who are very ashamed of me being a dancer, and it's something I didn't want my children to know about me. Two days later the social worker came to my home and told me to go pick the children up. It's been a year, and we have been walking on eggshells the whole time. We completed parenting classes and angry management like they asked of us. Over the year they're have been minor reports.. my son picking scabs on his legs and going to the school nurse. When the swine flu was all over the news the took a stole a pennicilin pill of his father's and took it to school for a child there. He wanted to protect his friend from the "Pig Cold". This is why I say, it's been getting progressively worse. He's learned over the year that when he cries wolf, the social worker, nurse, and teachers flock around him. I love my son, I'm not trying to speak badly of him. In all honesty, I blame myself for the investigator being able to twist my son's words.

I was raised on spankings and time-outs in the corner and I did the same with my own children. A swat on the butt was never more than a little sting on the behind that hurt their dignity more than them. When my son was questioned.. it wasn't "How did you get the bruise?" It was.. "Does mommy ever hurt you? Does she spank you." This year that DCFS has been watching us, we have outlawed spanking in our home completely. But the social worker keeps it fresh in the children's minds by asking them if they're spanked every single week when she comes for her weekly visits. I'm afraid the only thing I accomplished was making these people very angry that I ever dared to threaten them with going to the press. Please don't think lowly of me; but I honestly wish I had just given the man what he wanted to begin with.
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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First of all, the fact that you strip is prejudicial to some people but in an ostensibly objective court of law, it really isn't relevant. UNTIL.....you put together pieces of a puzzle and they, together, may paint a questionable picture.

What I am saying is no one targets kids of strippers. And to be honest, from an objective point of view, the fact this man is in a strip club would give YOU leverage against him, not the other way around. Some guy with a well paying state funded job would NOT like to have it known he frequents strip clubs. So asserting he is using this against YOU seems odd----when clearly the opposite would be true. Dancing isn't a reason in and of itself to lose your kids---but his being in this place very well may be a reason for him to lose HIS job. It would seem logically that he would go to great lengths to go above and beyond in this case, and err on YOUR side so as NOT to call attention to the possibility of HIS activities. Guess what I am saying is, it seems as though YOU hold the cards, not him. Explaining this as pay back for your not complying with his wishes really doesn't make sense. Who wants THAT brought out in a court room--which is directly where this is headed. Understand my point?
I appreciate the additionial explanation but again I don't understand some things-----I don't understand why you had to take parenting classes and anger management classes because your kid took pills to school, or he fell down and bumped his head. There must have been specific incidents where they suspected abuse and could prove it enough to enforce court ordered classes. No one has to go to answer management classes for a kid taking a pill to school.......

Bottom line---as it stands from what you have said they are going to take your next child as well. You have no choice but to hire an attorney--an aggressive one and fight back. I would also abandon the idea of stripping----the battle you are in does not lend itself to your being a stripper. I know stripping isn't illegal, yada yada, but if you want your kids back you are going to have to travel the high road----I'd get on it quickly with the best legal help I could find--even if I had to sell something to do it. If this IS a case of DFCS running amok, just the fact you hired an attorney will lay it to rest. While strippers have the same legal rights as other people do, it is impossible for that choice (to strip) and the moral implications associated with it NOT to affect peoples opinion of your parenting.
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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thank you GentleGrace

The angry management I received after screaming hystercally at the investigator after I realized he was seriously taking my children into custody after I wouldn't preform for him. The '08 case was taken to court and after my state appointed lawyer called none of my witnesses for my own defense. The stripper thing I'm afraid is correct, my appointed lawyer was insulted at the idea of me calling other dancers as witnesses. I was forced to take a plea bargain stating that the state of Illinois had enough evidence to find me guilty. If no further incedents occurr'd within the year nothing would go on my record and DCFS would be gone from our lives. Completetion of Parenting classes and Anger management was part of the deal, both of which were completed 3 months ago. GentleGrace, thank you with all my heart for reading my story and responding to me. I know you didn't have to take time out of your day to respond. You've given me more answers than anyone would give me in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your help.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Update on current issue

I had my baby, as much as I wanted to keep him safe inside me forever; it wasn't possible. As soon as I came into the hospital in labor the nurses made a hotline call to DCFS. My baby was 6 hours old when the first DCFS worker came to the hospital to give us a neglect report for our 6 hr old child. Three days later when we were to be discharged she came back with a police officer. My crying baby was taken out of my room and the officer escorted me out of the hospital; like I was some kind of monster, instead of a greiving mother. DCFS gave my husband a Indicated Neglect charge because he wouldn't kick his 9 month pregnant wife out in the street and because he refused to divorce me. Especially after I showed him this site, and we realized they were lying about the divorce. They trapped him with the neglect.. charged with neglect if he didn't throw his pregnant wife out, or charged with neglect if he did. DCFS has been playing dirty with everything they can. They received my son's therapy report stating he has Disruptive Behavior Disorder, and in the report that symptoms include lying, manipulating.. ect. They were supposed to provide a copy to my public attorney, they didn't. I've had to be my own private investigator, keeping a log of events, medical and counseling documents, behavior reports from my son's school. If it touches DCFS's hands, it disappears; I have to be one step ahead of them and gather everything myself and put it in my lawyer's hands in person to be sure she gets it.

We had court last Weds. and DCFS refused to bring my daughter to court. She's our star witness, the DCFS worker outside of court bragged in front of my lawyer that the courts didn't matter; THEY decided everything. My lawyer requested a continuence to Dec. 9, and we have to have my daughter sapeania'd (sp?) to court and have a hearing to determine whether she's "compentent" to stand trial. They are trying everything they can to keep her off the stand. The only satisfying thing was seeing the judge yell at the same DCFS woman telling her "They have the right to call anyone they want as a witness on they're behalf. Whether that little girl gets on the stand or not, if she's to be in this courthouse; You'd better make sure that she is here, period." The only other positive thing is that Catholic Social Services is taking over our case for DCFS; and these people haven't lied to us or been nasty or manipulative at all. In fact they seem to be in the dark about alot of DCFS's activities and are lied to by DCFS as much as the parents are. I might be grasping air; but if I'm found Not Guilty in court, do I have grounds to sue DCFS?
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Old 11-15-2009, 04:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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i Know how it feels

I am a singel mom of 5 beatiful children. And i lost my children to dss just a little over a year ago. I was under the suppervision of the Department of Soical Servise, I was hotlined in by who i thought was my friend. I had stayed with her for a day in a half. My black lap went to the bathroom and tore the grabge in my house up. When my children and i arrived back home it was a mess. I called a friend who just lived 5 mins from me, who wanted her. They came and got her and i got my children a snack and but a movie in for them, so i could clean the mess up. I then had a knock on my door, when i answerd it, it was a casework. I had informed her that the house was a mess due to my dog, which i just got wread of her about 10 mins earlyer. She told me what the allagations where and went throw my home, and saw at the time my 3 children. She told me that she was going to put the kids in restpet for the weekend so i could clean the house and shampoo the rugs. I agreed for them to go for the weekend. I was told that they would be back on monday. I had stayed up all night cleaning and scrubbing and shampooing my rugs. That friday morning at 10:04 the caseworker and my yap worker showed up at my home. The caseworker in formed me that they were takeing my children away from me and placeing them in forster-care.My world came crashing down at that vary momment. I did not get to see my children for almost 2 weeks after they where taken, and at the time my youngest daughter was only 3 1/2 months. my children where takeing form me on Aug.4 2008 and they did not get me into court for removile of the children untill Aug.18,2008. Sence my children have been taken i have developed a sleeping dissorder. My children are being phichily, mentaly,and emational abused. I have pics of welts on my oldst daughters face. I have turned the foster home in several times and no one has done any thing. this foster home is responcible for a 1 week old babys coulerbone to be brook and i now have to new born twins there and i fear for them every day. I dont have any money to get a lawyer and no support from my childrens fathers nor do i have any support from any friends or family. I am all alone. I miss my kids vary much. I pray to god every night to just keep my kids safe and bring them back home to me and where they want to be.......
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Old 11-15-2009, 05:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I am sorry this situation is happening, but I have to tell you, if you do not hire an attorney, you need to work on your explanation of how things happened. Even as you have related the story here, you left a dog for a day and a half to stay with a friend---this means a dog used the bathroom on your floor for a day and a half---not to mention going without food and/or water. Not good.

DSS does not take children and keep them in foster care because a dog wet on the carpet or dumped over the trash can. If that were the case, everyone who owns a dog would lose their children.

There seem to be some concerns DSS has/had about your parenting. I do not know if they were unfounded or not. BUT your best course of action, aside from hiring a lawyer is to address the issues they THINK are a problem, even if you do not think that they are.

Instead of focusing on what is happening in foster care, (since you have virtually no way of proving your allegations) focus on what you need to do to get your children back. But, honestly, a dog messing on the carpet and overturning a trash can is a lot different than a house that is in a state of filth and/or dangers for children. Instead of trying to explain what they saw as something that just "Happened" just at the exact moment someone (who would have no way of knowing the dog did those things) notified DSS. I have seen dogs do a lot of damage when they are left alone all day---but even then, that could never be confused with filth and squallor.

Good luck.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I understand how they could make the allegation. Anyone can get a neglect/abuse indecation against them now. Something simple like a child falling off his bike and breaking his arm. Ten years ago, the parents would take the child to get a colored cast and the child would enjoy having his/her classmates sign it. Now, the school would call DCFS and they'd sent a investitor to interview your child at school.. before you would every know anything is wrong. "Where were you when you broke your arm?" "Where were your parents at?" "Are you left unsupervised alot?" "About how often do you play outside unsupervised?"... You can see where this is going. If a abuse indication can't be pushed, there is always neglect. There is no such thing as "accidents" in DCFS's eye's, and a parent's rights is purely for show. Gentle Grace is right, with a paid lawyer.. DCFS backs off, it's harder for them to make things up, destroy evidence, or change or alter files. They will stomp all over your rights and your children's rights in some cases. But if you have a lawyer, they have to do things properly or it's brought before court. Unfortunately for people like us, we can't afford a lawyer.. half the time keeping gas in the car or keeping the rent paid is a struggle that we are fighting. DCFS knows that; they know a poor family when they see one.. they know who they can push around because they can't "afford" to fight back. Be strong for your babies! Keep a log, if they ask you to do counseling or angry management, request a ledger or sheet from where you take classes to show that you have been going. Keep your home perfect, and you yourself look awesome when you have visits or court. Even if you have to buy a dress suit from Wal-MArt and return it as soon as court's done. They want to say your dirty, well then put forward the image YOU want the court to see. If part of the service plan they give you to get your kids back, is to maintain housing and keep bills paid. Get rent receits and summary reports from your power/water company. MAKE COPIES OF EVERYTHING! Provide copies for DCFS, your public lawyer if you have one, and a personal copy for yourself. That way YOU have proof that your working and doing everything you can to get your babies back. Don't depend on DCFS, public lawyer, or anyone to fight for you, you have to fight for yourself and gather evidence for yourself. This is their job, but these are your children.. your family. You can even go to the courthouse and request a copy of your case file so you can see exactly what dirt the other side has on you before court. Hell I even bought a body language book so I know how to behave in a courtroom appropriately.

I'm telling you exactly the pointers my own counselor gave me; she was also my son's counselor and knew his condition very well, so she knew when this happened that I was telling the truth. Fight. No one knows how it feels in the night when we cry looking at our children's empy beds, and no one cares unless they have felt that pain themselves. It's easy to fall apart in the shadow of such cold hearted cruelty, but no one in this world loves those babies like you do. Be strong, if you don't feel like it.. then fake it. Fight. Your children depend on it.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:26 AM   #10 (permalink)
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What is happening in the DSS arena is also happening in regards to the restraining order/order of protection area. It is so common places for couples who are splitting up to throw orders of protection and restraining orders against each other that they lose their effectiveness. Women who really are abused have their concerns overlooked because an entire judicial system has become immune to their pleas.

Also, DSS is motivated--NOT by necessarily concern for the child, but for their own liability. Their philosophy is "Err on the side of caution" and the result is parents are losing their children. But clearly the focus is their own liability. You see on the news how a child is beaten and killed and you find out DSS didn't do the proper checks, etc. The result of this is an overzealousness to nail everyone who happens to come on their radar. This is why you need a good attorney.

My late husband and I made unusual choices for our lives and our childrens lives and the police, school officials and even DSS have danced in and out of our lives through out the years--nothing serious, but as soon as the encounter started, I put an immediate stop to it. My husband and I both were school teachers and when we married we decided to homeschool. After my husband was killed at work two years ago, I relocated to a home that is on a two lane major highway. I came home one day from the store to see a police officer and a man who looked like a used car sales man at my fence, talking to my children. They had apparently just arrived. I exited my vehicle, and as soon as the man identified himself as a truant officer and a local school principal, I immediately interrupted them, and asked them politely to step off my property to speak with me. My children went into the house. I informed them that I was not only a licensed teacher, I was also a registered homeschooler in compliance with state law. The principal insisted he didn't give me permission to homeschool---he had no idea I was not only aware of the laws and in compliance, I am also a law student. When it became apparent he was not aware of the law in my state that allows us to register with private licensed agencies and NOT the state, I called my attorney and handed the phone over to the principal. Within three minutes, I had an apology and later received a written apology from the principal for his 1. being on my property and 2. for not knowing the law.

Know the laws in your jurisdictions and get an attorney. People who came by my home during the day saw children and were reporting truancy, not knowing that the law does not require us to homeschool certain hours ---just that we DO homeschool four hours a day--which hours we choose is our businsess.

Stop this before it gets out of hand ---if indeed there is no basis for it. DSS is a government agency---and it is clear the government as it grows larger and larger has families in its sights. I believe it is only a matter of time.
A site I appreciate greatly is parentalrights.org. It is a non profit group that supports parents and their rights. I am also a member of the non profit Home School Legal Defense Association who also has as it's mission to help families whose rights are being violated.
Good luck.
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