Boyfriend arrested after calling 911

My Boyfriend and I had a heated argument and I was going to leave our apartment. Just before my leaving he grabbed my jacket , I called 911 . He left, they found him and arrested him. He went to jail for 3 days, now he is in motel somewhere. The officer explained to me that after making a 911 call ,the state was in control , it was out of my hands. My boyfriend had a court date yesterday to try to ammend bail conditions and have the automatic no contact order dropped, it was denied. The DA stated that even tho this was a bottom of the line incident that his concern was that my boyfriend had a prior DV charge in another state. The incident that he is speaking of was with a different girlfriend and it was dropped, he was not found guilty. The judge says that my boyfriend needs to be in couseling before he can ammend his bail conditions...This is so out of control, while I understand that the domestic violence laws in place for obvious reasons, the system is broken. It was immature of me to call the police. It was immature of him to grab my jacket, but it was NOT domestic violence!! I have $1.42 in my checking account and my car needs repair, or it will no longer be driveable. No one cares how this has affected our lives, we will have NO Christmas and I mean NONE, bills are out of control, I really have not had money for groceries !! We are lost in the system now and how do we get out ???? In both of these cases my boyfriend has gone to jail and court because of "mad" girlfriends. There was no injury and grabbing a jacket should not even fall in the DV category. Does anyone care that we are just a lost docket number now, and our lives have been turned upside down ????

Is a police report still considered to be valid if a name is mispelled or stated incorrectly ?

The DA is free to address any charges of public relevance as he or she sees fit. Although it is unusual to use a prior charge that was dismissed in another jurisdiction as the basis for pursuing a subsequent allegation (assuming this is the case), it is up to the DA to set whatever "tone" he or she desires.

To that end, it seems very clear that your DA feels a sense of responsibility to you and the community in this particular scenario (possibly on a personal level, but this kind of territory is always murky) to provide some level of protection from your boyfriend. Assuming you truly did not feel at all concerned for your safety during the incident a few days back and called 911 absent-mindedly, you *may* be able to testify in your boyfriend's defense. Should you choose to do so, however, be aware that the DA may ask you the following questions:

1. Has your boyfriend been violent toward you or to others in the past?
2. Were you aware of your boyfriend's prior charge of domestic violence? Specifically, what did you know about the allegations?
3. Do you have any bruises or other scars? How were these inflicted? (Depending on how aggressive the DA is, he/she may try to make attempts to gather evidence [e.g., photographs] or testimonies [e.g., a doctor's statement] about any bruises you may have, regardless of how these truly came about. The chances of the DA attempting a course of action such as this will grow particularly if you decide to testify in your boyfriend's defense.)

As I'm sure you can tell, though you may feel frustrated by what has happened, your best move may be to let your boyfriend's case proceed without further intervention from you. I cannot emphasize enough, however, how much of a personal decision this should be --- you should consult with whoever is representing your boyfriend, though, for his/her take on what level of involvement (if any) you should have in the defense.

Brad

(As for the police report, it is unlikely that a small misspelling will invalidate the report. Only if there is a larger error or omission could I see possibility in disqualifying the report's validity.)

Thank you for your reply, this is so very frustrating!

Sothisist,

You are in an unfortunate position that is quite common. I have heard horror stories like yours before…

The reality of our criminal justice system is that crimes are not viewed as perpetrated against victims, but against the state. That’s why it’s “People vs. Jones” not “Smith vs. Jones”. The moment that you involved the police in your internal family squabble, they are in control of the situation. They will decide if something wrong has occurred and will pursue the matter irrespective of your wishes. They system may have been designed to protect the helpless, but it is usually run by those who are interested more in helping their own careers. This is important for you to realize because you will better understand how the DA thinks before you decide on your next course of action.

The DA is pursuing this case in order to “win,” not to do justice. If they feel that they have a winning case, they will pursue, if they feel they don’t, they won’t, irrespective of what has occurred or what you want to happen. The only thing you can affect is the level of evidence they have. That is your only say in what happens from now on.

Right now it sounds like the DA thinks they have a good case. Your boyfriend has a history of domestic violence (though not proven) and the judge seems to be buying in on this. You have made a complaint (911 call). They think this will be enough. They assume that your story will not change, and that they can force you to repeat the charge in front of a jury. They CAN force you to do this. If you don’t, or change your story, they can charge you with lying to the police, or by refusing to testify, thus disobeying the court.

YalePrelaw has a point. Your safest course of action is to do nothing. They may encourage you to talk to the DA and police, but anything you say can and will be used against YOU if they want to. Therefore, the safest course of action is to do nothing… even if it means your boyfriend stays in jail and you never see him again.

Another option is to go to the DA and “do what it takes” to get him out. That means, basically, saying he did not hurt you. This may STILL not work, and should be done carefully because of the stuff mentioned above. It should also be done with a lawyer, possibly his lawyer. (He cannot ask you to do this because that would be “obstruction of justice”, getting him deeper into trouble, regardless of the outcome of this case.) You need to make the first move.

Your options are not good, and now is the time you need to decide what’s more important to you, your boyfriend, or your safest course of action. The choice is yours so think carefully and decides.

Good luck!

Thank you for your reply Expert,

My boyfriend is not currently in jail , I stated that he is in a motel. If I did go to the DA and tell him that my boyfriend didn't hurt me , I would not be lying because he didn't hurt me and I never said that he did hurt me . I stated that he grabbed my jacket. Does this change anything about your reply ?

Unfortunately, no. If the DA is proceeding with the case, then the DA views “grabbing” your jacket, or whatever they think happened as domestic violence... whether you think it is or not… If your boyfriend is in jail, or in a motel under a restraining order and out on bail / bond, he is still in some sort of pretrial custody.

Unfortunately this changes nothing. If you want to do something to help your boyfriend, seek out and talk to his lawyer about the options. (Remember, the lawyer cannot suggest that you lie or change your story or do anything like that without risking his license. That’s a crime called witness tampering.) If you want to play it safe, avoid doing anything. Regardless, realize that everyone is talking to you only in their best interests, not yours.

Sorry for the bad news…

I agree with Expert completely --- nothing you say to the DA is going to change anything at this point. The only way your participation will have any positive effect is if you work with your boyfriend's counsel, but this kind of involvement carries its own risks. Be weary of your options...

Brad

Dear Expert,

Again thank you for your reply. Via the internet , I am learning more and more about this type of situation everyday and the complexities of this law. One could write literally for hours about this.

Over and over the advice is for good, solid, legal defense . Not having the funds for this, seems to be an issue.

It also appears to me as if the "system" that is broken , also has very little patience for the overwhelming case load. Compassion , does not exist. Everyone knows the laws are wrong, but for now this is the answer to fighting the true battle of Domestic Violence. Laws change with time. Just as they have changed to this point over the years to try to protect the innocent victims of a true Domestic Violence Case.

As for my life, I am a statistic . Caught in a living nightmare. All I can do is roll with it, sit back and watch my life be ruined in many ways. Live with the regret everyday of an immature decision and pray for mercy.

As I said earlier one could write for hours on the complexities of this and standing back and doing nothing to try to keep your life together is very tough. Rosa Parks died in 2005. I have always admired her. Nothing was going to make Rosa give up her seat on that bus that day and she changed our lives. Someone has to start a crusade against wrongful Domestic Violence charges and the severe impact it has . If I knew what to do or how to start , I would help. Right now , I just want my life back !!!!

PS, how do District Attorney's sleep at night ??? and how do I decide whether to play it safe, or try to help my boyfriend ???
I AM NOT ANOTHER WOMAN TRYING TO GET AN "ABUSER" HOME !!!!!

Dear sohisist,

I wish I knew a better answer for you… but I do not. Challenging the system is VERY dangerous and I would not advise it. For every Rosa Parks out there, there are thousands of people who have had their lives ruined by trying to challenge the system. Even people who succeed often face years, if not decades in prison or with their lives ruined before finally being officially vindicated. And there is no compensation for what you loose.

And don’t expect the NAACP or the ACLU to step in on this type of case, this doesn’t sound like the type of case they would step in on.

In the end, your options are those mentioned above. There is no “correct” answer. The decision is yours alone to make, and it is a personal one.

Good luck with whatever you decide, and keep us informed as to how things go.

P.S. If I thought you were just trying to get an “abuser” home, I would never have suggested that you take any risks to try to help him out.