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Old 07-27-2008, 01:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry Need Serious Help In Texas

I am a new father who has suffered a lot of slander from his child's grand mother. This woman is causing a lot of problems and is saying things about me and my family that are falling into the catagory of Defamation of character. To make things worse this woman is attempting to deny me if my rights to be with my child and is trying to move my child's mother along with my child out of the home we created for our child. I am trying to keep my temper but this has gone on long enough. I want to sue this woman and begin the proceedings for child custody. The mother of my child is a recovering drug addict.The grandmother has to attend a counselor weekly and is known for not only slander but lying pathologically. I need to know what is the best path to take
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Old 07-27-2008, 05:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstonzane View Post
I am a new father who has suffered a lot of slander from his child's grand mother. This woman is causing a lot of problems and is saying things about me and my family that are falling into the catagory of Defamation of character. To make things worse this woman is attempting to deny me if my rights to be with my child and is trying to move my child's mother along with my child out of the home we created for our child. I am trying to keep my temper but this has gone on long enough. I want to sue this woman and begin the proceedings for child custody. The mother of my child is a recovering drug addict.The grandmother has to attend a counselor weekly and is known for not only slander but lying pathologically. I need to know what is the best path to take
Your posting is difficult to understand. You state that the grandmother is attempting to take the child's mom and the child out of this loving home you have created, and two sentences later, YOU are asking how to get custody of the child ( you need custody if you are living with the mom in the loving home you have created?) You are blasting her for allegedly trying to tear down this fantastic home---why? So you can do it when you leave the mom and take the kid?

Ummm, 'kay.

In any regard, here is what you need to do. Separate the real issues, the legally actionable issues from the whining and dissention. Understand, also, the definition of slander and defamation of character. (also, grandma being a liar isn't criminal and has nothing to do with any of this, legally). If, for example, Grandma tells people she thinks you are a bad father who will not be dependable, and who will not be stable enough to provide a good home of the kid--that isn't slander. It is her opinion of you. And she is entitled to it. However, if Grandma is calling your boss, telling him you got arrested for selling drugs last weekend ( and you did not ) that could be considered slander. In order for slander to be actionable, it has to be 1. UNTRUE, and 2. you must be able to show a demonstratable harm---in other words, you have to demonstrate to a court that it clearly and adversely affected your life in an appreciable manner (i.e. loss of a job, etc) There again you have to PROVE you lost this job specifically as a result of HER comments (untrue ) to your boss.

Also, if you are a drug dealer and she says you are, that isn't slander. (This is just an example--I'm not suggesting you are a drug dealer). In other words, in order for something to be slander, it has to be UNTRUE. If she goes around telling people you have a conviction for selling drugs and it is true, that isn't slander--its the truth.

Regarding the issue of her trying to move the kid and the girlfriend out of the house--this isn't criminal and the fact that grandma goes to counseling (for what?) doesn't really matter. From your own postings, Grandma has right to have reservations about you since you admit you ARE trying to take the child from the mother.

It is always amusing how people come into a forum like this and belittle the parent of the child--he or she is a crack head, a cheater, a liar, etc. but thought nothing of those terrible qualities while they were shacking up making babies with them. Suddenly, the other party is the devil incarnate. It seems disingenuous to pick her to be the mother of your child, then comment on her glaring faults. If anything, the questions begs to be asked----why would someone of your upstanding moral character, judgment and insight have a baby with a drug addict? You see, it is difficult to sling mud with out having it fall squarely on you.

I am not saying you shouldn't have custody of the child--I am just saying don't place criticism on other people who have more of a right to the child than do you. The mother of a child that has a baby out of wedlock has more rights to the child than does the birth father. That's one of the drawbacks of having a kid without the benefit of marriage.

Your posting reads as though the child's best interest isn't even on your radar---just getting back at the birth mother and grandmother. Regardless of the allegation that the grandma tells lies, it is possible to tell lies and still be a good parent. You are going to have a difficult time making a parallel between the child being in danger because you think Grandma lies.

Don't shoot yourself in the foot stating you want to preserve this loving home, then ask how you can, on the other hand, tear it down. I wouldn't even play that card--it reeks of insincerity. Just do what everyone else does who fights over innocent children--hire an attorney, and let the facts show up. If the judge thinks Grandmas being a liar is significant, he can grant you a restraining order, but be advised, since the dawn of time, moms of young girls who have babies with their boyfriends have been defensive and protective of the same. And, the court takes a very small view of young boys who have kids but who cannot, for whatever reason, support the child. ( Note--I'm not saying you cannot, just telling you how it is in court). A natural father has very few rights---and the natural mother with the presumed support of her family often carries more weight than a young dad on his own who wants to take the kid from the mom and the presumed support she has.

Hire an attorney if you think you have grounds for custody, but do it for the right reason--sticking it to them or hurt feelings for her voicing her opinion about you is hardly grounds.
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Old 07-27-2008, 10:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you Grace. I need to further explain things. I wrote it all when I was trying to care for my newborn daughter.

As far and the grandmother goes she has caused many problems for me in the community I Live in. Her Habitual Lying has caused me to be denied Credit and caused many visits from local law enforcement (she called them to try to bully me by saying I was possessing illegal substances and making verbal threats to her.)I have never used illegal substances much less have been in possession of them. I also have respect for my fellow man or woman and do not believe in in making verbal threats. I have never nor will i ever make any verbal threats to anyone for any reason . I have a rule when it comes to this woman, If she calls my cell phone I ignore it. If she sees me in public I turn the other way and politely leave the immediate area. If She is in my home to see her daughter or granddaughter I make a point to limit her time to 1-2 hours and I avoid her and only care for my daughter and girlfriend's needs and wants. I am very silent towards her and only speak if spoken to.

My Girlfriend is easily swayed by her mother and tends to believe anything her mother says. According to my girlfriend HER MOTHER NEVER LIES!! We have built a loving home for our daughter. After I have had so many problems with her mother I was told by my girlfriend that her mother feels that our home is unstable. We are new parents and have a lot of stress combined with a lack of sleep will cause stress in a relationship. With all this stress and the baby's Grandmother filling my girlfriends head with lies about me I am wits end. I only intend to begin custody hearings and such if my child's grandmother moves my girlfriend and child away from me because she has made it clear that she will be denying me my rights as a father and requesting for me to give up rights to my Child if it comes to legalities.
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Old 07-27-2008, 10:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstonzane View Post
I am a new father who has suffered a lot of slander from his child's grand mother. This woman is causing a lot of problems and is saying things about me and my family that are falling into the catagory of Defamation of character. To make things worse this woman is attempting to deny me if my rights to be with my child and is trying to move my child's mother along with my child out of the home we created for our child. I am trying to keep my temper but this has gone on long enough. I want to sue this woman and begin the proceedings for child custody. The mother of my child is a recovering drug addict.The grandmother has to attend a counselor weekly and is known for not only slander but lying pathologically. I need to know what is the best path to take
The Grandmother seeks counseling because she has been diagnosed with depression and is very unstable in her own life. She ran away from her husband and my girlfriend when my girlfriend was age 12 and did not come back until My girlfriend was 20 years old. She is unstable in her life and is medicated. When she doesn't take her meds she can be a handful.It becomes a woman who not only is disrespectful but can become violent and verbally abusive. I only seek advice to keep this woman from being a primary or secondary caregiver to my daughter.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You need to have a relationship with an attorney so that he can make quick moves... and please, make it an attorney with a few partners who can be brought up to speed periodically.

I doubt the mother of your girlfriend could gain custody, but her daughter might see you as her adversary if you mention trying to get custody to prevent her mom from being a caregiver. I'd advise you not to threaten legal action, just be prepared to bring it.
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