More Trouble in Tropical Paradise

I had posted a question earlier on another part of the forum about adoption law. Now, I am in even deeper trouble then originally thought.

Here is my situation. I am a married woman with a husband and we have an unplanned pregnancy. My husband had a job, but just got laid off recently. I do not have a steady job to support this child. The grandmother wants custody of the child. She is bankrupt with over 40k in debt. The only person in either family that could possibly afford to take the child would be an 81 year old woman who is losing her memory. Not as serious as Alzheimers but I still would not find her compitent. I had asked my doctor that is following my pregnancy where a social services would be where I could apply for government insurance since my insurance is probably going to close at the end of the month as well as where to go to sign the paperwork to put the baby up for adoption. She laughed at me and said that I don't know my husband's mother very well. The doctor and my husband's mother are good friends, hence why I was referred to the doctor. My doctor told me that down here in Puerto Rico, it is a law that if you put the child up for adoption, first people to offered the child are close family. Aka, my husband's mother. The doctor also told me that I cannot apply for government aid for if I do, I can no longer see my doctor and because I am 6 months pregnant, no other doctor will follow it further. Also, only one hospital on all the island will take government insurance. I had shown my feelings towards my husband's mother taking the child, which as I wrote on the other entry I dont' wish her to have the child due to her financial situation, her work situation, and the fact that she is willing to break the family apart just to have the child.

After I left the doctor's office, my doctor called my husband's mother and told her about the insurance problem as well as how I felt on the adoption process. My husband's mother then proceeded to call my husband and tell him how unfair I am being for not wanting her to have the child, and when he tried to reason with her how I am the one going through the pregnancy, I deserve to choose who does and does not have my child, she said "So! I am the gramma!" and he proceeded to hang up on her. The only way I know that my doctor called my husband's mother is the mother hasn't spoken about the adoption in months, and the only time it comes up is when she speaks to someone else about it. So for her to react that way, after moments before my doctor knowing this information, I put two and two together. I have no physical proof other than my husband's mother's reaction and there would be no way she would testify against her friend in court. Right now, I am more concerned about the adoption.

How can I get around the adoption law, and could the other family member and my husband's mother apply together to adopt the child?

This is too weighty a question for this type of board. You need legal assistance immediately. Try a pregnancy crisis center.

Once again, I'll provide the same links as originally sent when you asked for assistance. As I answered then, you need good legal help there in Puerto Rico for such a difficult situation. Don't attempt this alone; it sounds as if there are already too many others involved in your decision. Again, I'd suggest both you and your husband get in touch with legal counsel to get this ironed out for everyone. findlegalhelp.org - PR - Consumers' Guide to Legal Help in English; Servicios Legales de Puerto Rico in Spanish are 2 sources for either pro bono or reduced legal aid there in Puerto Rico.

I don't know if I would automatically accept your doctor's answer for government benefits. (If you're the slightest bit concerned that your confidentiality is being compromised with your doctor, I'd highly suggest you find another .. and keep the details of your intentions for the future to a minimum.) You may want to at least contact that particular assistance agency in your own, to make certain you do or don't qualify for assistance. Given the circumstances and relationship between your doctor and husband's mother , I don't know as I'd accept anyone else's 'word' for the law without contacting an attorney, but the government assistance you mentioned is something you can check out on your own.

Again, good luck to all of you.