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Old 07-11-2007, 09:11 AM
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Indiana resident- My 13 yr old daughter no longer wishes to visit her father due to adverse living conditions at his house. (i.e. still has to share bedroom w/ 17 yr old brother; not allowed to take showers-"wastes water"; dad does not stock food in house- always fed fast food; dad leaves them alone at night to make "liquor runs"; dad always asleep, on phone, or on computer..) I called CPS but was told as long as they sleep in separate beds that is all that is required. Yet, someone else was told by CPS that after age 7 they have to be in separate rooms? She stopped going on her visitation weekends in January, and since she stopped going dad has next to no contact with her. He doesn't call or email her. He has talked to her a total of 6-7 times in the past 6 mos. He put all of her items in her room at his house in a closet. Daughter tried to talk to her about her concerns and he got defensive and told her she was wrong that it was just her 'mother talking'. I have had her in therapy since November and he has never inquired about her treatment nor asked to be involved in any way. Now after nearly 5 months of silence he is demanding that she come to his house for visitation. He has not even attempted to discuss the issue with her- just sent an email to me stating that she needs to show up willing or not! I talked to attorney briefly and he stated that as long as dad is paying support that I should force her to go and that the local judge would force her to go because she does not believe 'teenagers' should tell adults what to do? Any advise on how best to tackle this problem? She is adamant at this time that she does not want to spend time with him.
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:05 AM
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Originally Posted by dancin923 View Post
Indiana resident- My 13 yr old daughter no longer wishes to visit her father due to adverse living conditions at his house. (i.e. still has to share bedroom w/ 17 yr old brother; not allowed to take showers-"wastes water"; dad does not stock food in house- always fed fast food; dad leaves them alone at night to make "liquor runs"; dad always asleep, on phone, or on computer..) I called CPS but was told as long as they sleep in separate beds that is all that is required. Yet, someone else was told by CPS that after age 7 they have to be in separate rooms? She stopped going on her visitation weekends in January, and since she stopped going dad has next to no contact with her. He doesn't call or email her. He has talked to her a total of 6-7 times in the past 6 mos. He put all of her items in her room at his house in a closet. Daughter tried to talk to her about her concerns and he got defensive and told her she was wrong that it was just her 'mother talking'. I have had her in therapy since November and he has never inquired about her treatment nor asked to be involved in any way. Now after nearly 5 months of silence he is demanding that she come to his house for visitation. He has not even attempted to discuss the issue with her- just sent an email to me stating that she needs to show up willing or not! I talked to attorney briefly and he stated that as long as dad is paying support that I should force her to go and that the local judge would force her to go because she does not believe 'teenagers' should tell adults what to do? Any advise on how best to tackle this problem? She is adamant at this time that she does not want to spend time with him.

Court orders must be followed implicitly unless they are amended. I would get an attorney IMMEDIATELY and petition the court for an emergency hearing. In many states, a child that reaches your child's age is allowed to have a say in where they stay. Be advised, everything you have said here would need to be proven---not being allowed to take a shower, as opposed to a bath, is clearly not neglectful. However, being left alone for liquor runs at night, while not illegal when a child reaches a certain age ( 13 in my state) it certainly isn't wise. A good attorney can help you sift through which things are relevant and which things are not.

A good attorney, in your case, really isn't an option. It is a necessity. Until then, I would not violate a court order under any circumstances.
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