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Old 07-05-2007, 07:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I need advice concerning Alienation of Affection

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I am trying to find out all I can about Alienation of Affection Laws and lawsuits. I know that Indiana,where I live,does not have a law on the books anymore but I am not going to be discouraged by that. The situation is rather delicate,since it involves not a person but rather a large established entity,namely the Cathollic Church.
My girlfriend of about two years broke up with me the other day. The reason for said break-up is that she decided God was more important to her. She lives in the Philippines and is very active in her church. Before we met,she told me it was one of her fondest wishes to have a SOLD (State Of Life Discernment). This week she found out she was in line for it. Before finding out what was required of her,she said Yes. Only afterward did they tell her that she could not have any kind of physical relationship (i.e. boyfriend,husband,lover,etc.) with a male as it may unfairly bias her decision. Now,I love this woman with all my heart and will not stand in her way,but at the same time there is the issue of pain and emotional suffering on my part. I am greatly displeased because there was no full disclosure on the part of the church (or whoever it was that told her about being accepted ) before she made her decision. I'm not saying she would have turned them down for me,I just think she should have taken the matter into some consideration,talked it over with me,etc. Is there anything I can do? Are there any legal grounds for me? I don't want any money out of this,I just want to see my girlfriend and talk to her but I can't because when you go through this kind of religious thing they isolate you from modern life and no one is willing to help me get in touch with her.
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Old 07-10-2007, 04:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsnric31 View Post
I am trying to find out all I can about Alienation of Affection Laws and lawsuits. I know that Indiana,where I live,does not have a law on the books anymore but I am not going to be discouraged by that. The situation is rather delicate,since it involves not a person but rather a large established entity,namely the Cathollic Church.
My girlfriend of about two years broke up with me the other day. The reason for said break-up is that she decided God was more important to her. She lives in the Philippines and is very active in her church. Before we met,she told me it was one of her fondest wishes to have a SOLD (State Of Life Discernment). This week she found out she was in line for it. Before finding out what was required of her,she said Yes. Only afterward did they tell her that she could not have any kind of physical relationship (i.e. boyfriend,husband,lover,etc.) with a male as it may unfairly bias her decision. Now,I love this woman with all my heart and will not stand in her way,but at the same time there is the issue of pain and emotional suffering on my part. I am greatly displeased because there was no full disclosure on the part of the church (or whoever it was that told her about being accepted ) before she made her decision. I'm not saying she would have turned them down for me,I just think she should have taken the matter into some consideration,talked it over with me,etc. Is there anything I can do? Are there any legal grounds for me? I don't want any money out of this,I just want to see my girlfriend and talk to her but I can't because when you go through this kind of religious thing they isolate you from modern life and no one is willing to help me get in touch with her.

You are mixing legal terminology out of context. Alienation of affection is part of the cannon of common law ( tort ) and is a nearly archaic term first used in the 1800's when another person was responsible for the failure of a marriage (namely, adultery). It is, in fact, not even recognized in 40+ states any longer. You are not married. And adultery is not an issue.

What you are describing borders on absurd. Your girlfriend, supposedly deeply religious, is devoting her life wholeheartedly to something she misunderstood---something as critical as abstinence?? Even to me, completely uninformed about Catholicism, abstinence is nearly synonymous with the Catholic church. Pain and suffering because your girlfriend doesn't want to have *** with you or won't discuss significant life-altering decisions with you before she makes them?? Surely you jest.

Unless your girlfriend is a hostage, and cannot change her mind, she is where she is because it is her CHOICE. It was her choice ---you said she chose the church over you. You said she terminated the relationship with you before making her commitment to the church. You cannot SUE an entity "Catholic church"--define Catholic Church. The one she attends? All of them? Half of them? Furthermore, how do you know they did not tell her this information? Something as important as a life of celibacy is certainly something even the most simple minded of persons would ask.

Let me give you another example. My religion I practice teaches that premarital physical relations are wrong. Lets say, hypothetically, I was not a part of this particular religion and I was shacking up with a guy, "living" together without the benefit of marriage. I convert to this religion--obviously I do not know, have memorized, and understand every single tenant of the religion, but I convert and as I learn more about the religion, I tell my significant other "Sorry, I cannot live with you and engage in premarital relations since it is now my belief that it is against the Bible". Who would he sue then? God? The Bible? The Preacher?

And, as you said per your own admission, she CHOSE the church over you. Now, if she feels she converted without understanding fully what was expected of her, she can certainly leave this organized religion---unless, of course, she is a hostage--which I sincerely doubt. She chose to be there, she can choose to leave and contact you if she wishes.

Civil action (TORT) is based on Constitutional law. You do not have a legal Constitutional right to have sexual relations with this woman and you being denied sexual relations with her has absolutely no legal basis for "pain and suffering" whatsoever.
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Old 07-10-2007, 08:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsnric31 View Post
[FONT="Courier New"][/FONT]
I am trying to find out all I can about Alienation of Affection Laws and lawsuits. I know that Indiana,where I live,does not have a law on the books anymore but I am not going to be discouraged by that. The situation is rather delicate,since it involves not a person but rather a large established entity,namely the Cathollic Church.
My girlfriend of about two years broke up with me the other day. The reason for said break-up is that she decided God was more important to her. She lives in the Philippines and is very active in her church. Before we met,she told me it was one of her fondest wishes to have a SOLD (State Of Life Discernment). This week she found out she was in line for it. Before finding out what was required of her,she said Yes. Only afterward did they tell her that she could not have any kind of physical relationship (i.e. boyfriend,husband,lover,etc.) with a male as it may unfairly bias her decision. Now,I love this woman with all my heart and will not stand in her way,but at the same time there is the issue of pain and emotional suffering on my part. I am greatly displeased because there was no full disclosure on the part of the church (or whoever it was that told her about being accepted ) before she made her decision. I'm not saying she would have turned them down for me,I just think she should have taken the matter into some consideration,talked it over with me,etc. Is there anything I can do? Are there any legal grounds for me? I don't want any money out of this,I just want to see my girlfriend and talk to her but I can't because when you go through this kind of religious thing they isolate you from modern life and no one is willing to help me get in touch with her.
I'm forwarding a few links to you via private message above that obviously don't answer your legal questions. I think you're already aware that your particular circumstances don't fit the legal definition of 'alienation of affections,' (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections.) You just may not quite be prepared to accept it.

I'm curious as to whether you've investigated the particular religious procedure you've described. I'll admit this is a new one to me, but from the research I've done since originally viewing your post several days ago, this is designed to give the person ample time and space (without modern day distractions) to fully evaluate themselves and their place in life. (Simply put, of course.) I don't get the impression this is necessarily to push someone into the priesthood or formal church service, rather a time of personal contemplation and meditation. On a personal note, I do have to say that unless you've spent a lifetime conditioned to living up to everyone else's expectations and desires as most women are still being raised to this day, you'll probably never understand what a luxury an experience such as this would be. That being said, it does appear to me a fairly drastic way of doing so; I wouldn't necessarily recommend such a stark way of doing it. To someone with such obvious religious convictions as your ex-girlfriend, however, it must've presented an opportunity she felt was necessary.

If you care as much as you've indicated, I can only suggest you not proceed with legal action. Even if there were legal precedent, I don't believe you'd prevail when tackling such a large (religious) institution. It certainly won't bring your ex back to you. That's a decision she'll make on her own, possibly even during this procedure and unfortunately, it's not something you can control. Who knows? She may change her mind .. she may not. In the meantime, you may want to educate yourself on the purpose of the procedure.

Sorry, no legal help here .. just 100% personal opinion. Good luck.
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