Mom passed; What are the resposiblities of the executrix.

My mother passed two weeks ago and my sister is the executrix of her estate.
We are located in Oklahoma but our home was in Michigan. Sister is taking mom's ashes home. She has planned a big party type memorial service at a restaurant/bar.
She called to ask what my daughter was singing at the service and I informed her that I didn't think we could afford to all fly home on such short notice.... her response was " Bummer"
Since, she has called to ask me why I can't leave my family at home and just come out myself. I explained that my children, at the very least, need closure as much as I do,and, I have been married for 15 years and didn't want to go without my husband.
Her response was "well I won't be mad at you but I hope you can live with yourself"
I even explained that I planned to take my children to see the tree they plant and the bench in memoriam of her later this summer when I have money saved...
I can't understand how she can pay for the "party" but could not pay to get my family home to atleast properly say goodbye to Mom's ashes. Is this a responsiblity of the executrix

NO ! The estate has no obligation to pay for you to get home to the funeral