Uncertain

I have been maried for 8 years. Living together for 10 years. My husband has indicated that he no longer wishes to be married. He told me that as far as he's concerned. I am "just here" meaning in the house. He also advised that if I wanted love to "find sombody to love you." These statements along with years of emotional abuse lead me to believe the marriage is over. I suspect infidelifty--no proof. I stopped sleeping with him because I dont' want him to say "It must not be so bad, she's still sleeping with me." Also, I am afraid of contracting STDs. During the marriage, he built a very successful business (247 K last year). I am currently working 8 hours per week since being laid off from my full time contractual job (35 K last year). I am hoping to land a new full time job soon so I can support myself. I am not sure if I should stay put (in the house of hostility) until after I file or if I should move out when money is available then file. If so, what am I entitled to take with me--bed, clothes? I came with a house full of furniture when we blended households. I do not want the house.

Thanks

What state?

You need a good attorney to help protect your interests in all of this. Your emotions now may not be a good judge of what to agree to at this point. You need an objective party to protect your assets. I would find a low cost or free consultation attorney today.

Good luck.

Thank you. Should I pay the attorney to start putting a settlement together now, while I am still in the home? I won't be in a position to move until at least 30 to 45 days from now. I live in Michigan.

I am not certain an attorney can, at this point, put together a "settlement" without knowing for sure, and and without having proof of marital assets, etc. I am sure at your first meeting he will tell you exactly what documents he needs, and what happens next, step by step. If he does not, find another attorney. And, divorces customarily take a year at least----so no, right now is not too soon.

Also, while you may not want the house, you very well may be entitled to a portion of the proceeds /equity in the house. Also most states recognize ten years of marriage as being a "long term" , meaning you may be entitled to more than you think. Don't sell yourself short.

I don't mean to sound unkind, but this man is doing you a favor by telling you to find someone you love and someone who will treat you as you deserve to be treated---I am sure there is just such a person out there and it is good ( in some macabre way) that he realizes it ISN'T him and allows you to leave. Some people realize it, but stay together and ruin each others lives. I don't condone the abusiveness, but a new start may just be what you need for a very wonderful life from this point on, as hard as it may seem at the moment.

Good luck to you.