
02-16-2008, 10:02 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Divorcedman1
Hi everyone,
I have a thought that is like a thorn in my eye and I need to know how most people would feel if you were in my shoes.
I gave my ex-wife my mother's engagement ring in order to start a nice family tradition that would go on for centuries to come.
Our marriage lasted only three years together and 2 yrs. separated.
Ethically and moraly I know it is not correct to ask the ring back, but has anyone been in a similar situation?
A divorce is usually caused by spouses not being compatible or having serious irrereconcilable differences, so I don't want to go that way having to attack an ex-wife to defend my point.
Thanks eveyone!
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Personally, I think the ethical and moral thing to do is a case like this is for the ex to give the ring back, given the circumstances. It's not as if the 2 of you shopped for one together in anticipation of marriage; it's a family "heirloom," as it were, and meant to carry on your family's tradition (not hers.) That's only an opinion, not the law. Even a judge couldn't order its return, but he/she may not-so-quietly suggest your ex to do the "right thing," as I've witnessed in the past. Unless the 2 of you can come to your own agreement, I really don't see any other way than, as you put it "attacking your ex to defend your point."
Obvious question: have you ever approached your ex & asked for it? Is there something awarded to you she wants in return? (It never hurts to ask.) You don't mention how difficult it is between the 2 of you now, but assuming it isn't good, is there a neutral party (family member, for example,) that could act as a "go-between" & help arbitrate for the both of you? It's a given that if by some chance, you & your ex do change that original settlement agreement, I'd recommend one of you do some research on how to have a modification filed & recorded. Depending on the laws in your jurisdiction, most courts should accept a mutually beneficial (uncontested) modification fairly readily.
Again, just suggestions/opinions here, not to be construed as legal advice. Good luck.
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