07-10-2007, 07:53 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 462
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vwlonewolf14
My husband and I and our 2 girls (ages almost-6 years and a 9 month old) moved in with friends the end of March. On April 27th he left me, saying he was tired of the fighting and was moving back to his parents. We set up arrangements with our daughters and things were fine. After being seperated about 3 weeks, he came back. On 4th of July, he had an issue with my friends that own the house. Then we fought and I told him to get out. I told him to keep the girls there and just leave. He left and I called his parents to let them know EXACTLY what happened (he's known to lie or not tell the whole truth). His dad had to bring him back to get his things. I boxed up what was in the bedroom and when he came in the house I told him to take the tote. He tried going thru the room to get more things and I told my roommate to get him out. They left, had to come back for something and my roommates told him he can get the rest of his things with the cops present.
Thursday night after work he showed up to get his stuff in the shed. He was told to come back with the cops. He left and came back, my roomates called the cops to make sure they were aware of the whole situation. Cops came, he started packing up, my MIL came to help him get his things. I went thru the shed and put all his stuff (that I knew were his) in the middle of the one part of the shed. My roommates have tools and such out there that they didn't want him to be near. When he got his things, the rest of the shed was locked so he didn't have access...he very well could have asked to make sure all his stuff was there, but he didn't.
Friday night we arranged to meet and talk...arrange who has the kids, what our intentions were with everything, etc. He took the girls home with him Friday night to have them over the weekend. He told me that if he sees one of my roomates in the mall and they look at him the wrong way, he will call DHS and Child Services. I told him he was being immature and involving people that shouldn't be involved.
I just heard from a mutual friend that he filed against my roomates to get his tools and such back. He also told this friend that his mother was going to file for custody of the girls. Or if she felt the girls were not in a safe environment with me, then she would file for kinship. I know this won't happen (by her atleast) b/c she is not a biological relative (she's the stepmom, real mom not in the picture since hubby was about 5 years old).
The divorce is pretty much a cut-and-dry deal, since there is no house or cars to make arrangements on. But I do want to file adultery against him. What kind of "proof" is needed to prove this? He has admitted it to several friends, at a church retreat and to our pastor when we were going to counseling with her.
What steps should I take to make sure I don't loose my girls? (Or should I ask this in the Custody forums?)What about filing for divorce? I "qualify" for Legal Aid, but I still have to call to see if they can definitely help me.
Any and all info is greatly appreciated!
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I'd suggest you make that call as soon as you can. The first thing to establish is both custody and visitation (and any child support) to protect your children as much as you possibly can during (and after) your divorce, if that's your final decision. It's important to have this established as soon as possible, especially if there's a remote possibility your mother in law is considering filing for custody. As far as the adultery allegations, I'd have everyone who's willing prepare a written (notarized statement) detailing the times, dates, circumstances, etc. when the admissions were made. (Prepare a detailed list yourself.) Understand that if the allegations are denied, they may have to appear in person in an attorney's office or even possibly in court .. I'd check with the people involved to make certain they're willing to go that far, if it becomes necessary. Your pastor may not feel comfortable becoming involved .. you'd have to ask her personally. Depending on the circumstances of the retreat, she may feel bound to withhold that information based on confidentiality. That being said, her position within your community would help lend credence to your allegations. It doesn't hurt to ask.
Again, I'd suggest the phone call very soon. Legal aid can help you with your state's particular procedure and statutes. Good luck.
Last edited by TheJury'sStillOut : 07-10-2007 at 07:58 AM.
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