Please give me help

I am so happy to have found this site. I know this question has been asked already, But is there any grounds for a lawsuit involving the man my wife was sleeping with? Or can I sue her for any damage or slander? And I am going to copy the letter that I wrote to the Judge in the case and please if you have any idea what my chaces are in winning sole custody please let me know so I can sleep again..lol. I do have tempory primary custody right now per the courts. My life is pretty simple I go to church every Sunday with my kids, I make about $105,000 a year do not drink, no drugs never been in any sort of trouble and I live in 4 bedrrom 2.5 bath $279.000 home my wife lives in a 2 bedroom apt since the day she moved out my neighbor moved in. Yes the neighbor. She makes $18,500 a year. Here is the letter I hope I do not get banned from this site with all of this. I thank all of you for your help.

To whom it may concern:

Almost 2 years ago we moved to Fort Mill from Tampa Fl, When we got settled my wife told me she wanted to go get a job and I was fine with that to get her out of the house and meet people since w did not know anybody here. At the time I was working for Harrelson Ford making about $7000 a month. My wife got a job at a place called serenity spa where she told me it was a day spa. And they had steam rooms and various Massage tables chairs and so forth. She was working Monday thru Fri 10-7 and really seemed to be enjoying her job. About 5 months later she told me they were opening a spa on South Blvd and she was going to be the Manager of it. Being she was driving 40 miles each way every day we were very happy about it. March 2004 she calls me in a panic and tells me she had been arrested and wanted me to come and get her from the shop “Belle Spa” I was the only Manager at work and could not leave and got her to calm down. And she explained to me that the Mechlanburg PD had came in undercover and one of the other girls had offered sexual favors for money. She ended up getting a citation for operating a massage parlor without a license. I met her at the house and asked her what this was all about and she finally broke down and started crying and told me that what she was doing there was dancing and giving the men a show so that they could masturbate themselves while they watched her. I lost my mind stated yelling at her at which point she started to vomit and get real upset. I told her we will handle it. The next day I contacted an attorney named Joe Ledford the next day we were in his office. Joe asked Rachel many questions and asked point blank if she had ever done anything sexual with a customer for money and she looked at me started to cry said sorry honey and said yes. She told Mr Ledford she never actually had intercourse but that she had many times given hand jobs and oral ***. Mr Ledford asked if she had ever been in trouble before and of course she had not. I paid him $1500 and we met the following month for our court date. The other girl that was with Rachel that day at work was also there and they sat there and chated about the whole deal which I was not happy about listening to it. We got into the courtroom at which point a Detective Lowe walked up to Rachel and said hello Mrs Campbell then walked away. Rachel told me she was the detective that had raided the place. Mr Ledford walked up to us and said the case had been moved to a different date and we left after the 4th time to the court house the case was finally dropped. About 6 months later Rachel said she was going to find a waitress job. She came home one day and told me she was going to work at Bar Charlotte about early Oct 2004 She told me she was working at a Club in Rock Hill called Emersons strip club as a Dancer. I told her that was it and she could not do this anymore and she responded with it makes me feel like people desire me and they pay attention to me and you are at work all the time so deal with it. It turned into a real big fight then the next day she said she was leaving with the kids to go to her Dads in Clayton Ga. At first I did not object because I had been questioning her for the last few months if she was cheating on me. Well the day after she left it hit me pretty hard and I called and called and she finally told me she did not feel loved and felt that I did not want her. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her happy. She agreed to come home the following week and from day 1 I changed everything I did and tried to make her happy. And it appeared to be going well for a week then she told me that she wanted to continue to work at the club for 1 day a week and I expressed to her that I did not want her to work there and she talked me into it saying she was just going to do it a couple more weeks. As time went on she gradually moved up to 3-4 days a week and did not care that it bothered me. She was coming home as late as 5:30 am and I continually questioned her on what was going on. I was still trying hard every day to make her happy and keep her in good spirits. In March she said she wanted to go back to Jamaica in June for vacation and I called got prices and put down $1500 for the trip which I paid the remainder the 2nd week of may. Well during the month of may I noticed Rachel spending a lot of time with my neighbor Russ she was over there or in the back yard with him and always drinking. I questioned her on it many times and I was told they were just friends and that he was a real nice guy. I was being paid no attention to and had no clue what to do. One day in May Rachel and I were at the mall as we were walking thru she noticed this watch that she fell in love with. So I bought it for her it was about $1500 and she had tears in her eyes, the following day I needed some shoes so we went back to the mall and she notices a bracelet that was about $1400 and again I bought that for her. She told me that this was one of the most special times for her that I was showing my love for her. As time went on The girls were telling me that every time mommy got home that she was going next door to Russ’s So I hired a Private Investigator Jack Kennedy in Charlotte. He came to my work and I paid him a deposit and later that day I thought I would check her phone records and I noticed the number 803-448-0209 and there were hundreds of calls thru out the last 8 months. After calling the number I found it to be a guy named John. Although I was upset I was very relieved to find out it was not my neighbor.

Part 2


I called Rachel at work told her we needed to talk when she got home and she panicked and came right home. I showed her all the records and told her I wanted to know the truth she said it was nobody at which point I told her that I was leaving with the girls then she started to tell me everything that John was the asst. manager at Emersons Strip Club in Rock Hill and that this had been going on for many months. After we fought and cried she said to me that she wanted to move out and learn to live on her own since she never had the chance to do that. I then Called Jack Kennedy and told him I did not need his services and that I had found out whom she was having the Affair with. The next 5 days before she left she made it a point to have *** with me as much as possible. Then I took off work one day and moved all the stuff that she wanted to her apt by myself. The following day she moved out. We stayed in good communication the first week and she had stated that she was hopeful that things would work out. She came over a couple of times and had *** with me which was very nice just to be with her. She also assured me that there was nothing else going on with John or anybody else. I started to notice things with the girls that were different they were not being there usual selves with me and seemed very distant. On July 2nd Rachel had suggested that we go out to dinner at Outback that evening we had a very good time talked about the mess that we had gotten ourselves into and talked about what the plans were for the future, She had stated to me the same thing she had told me when she wanted to move out in June right now she just wants to learn to live on her own and learn be independent. After dinner she had suggested that I come back to her apartment and spend the night since I had a babysitter for the night for the girls I agreed. When we walked in the door she we went to the kitchen and she poured herself some wine as she opened the refrigerator I immediately noticed Diet Pepsi and about 15+ packs of empty cigarettes on top of the refrigerator, Rachel said it was nothing and when I continued to push the point she finally came out with the fact that all of it was Russ’s and that they had been having a affair for the past couple months. The girls finally told me that they had been told to lie to me about the fact that Russ had been coming over every day and spending time with them and Rachel and that they did not like him nor felt that it was right. They girls stated to Rachel many times that they did not like the fact that Russ was always over and taking them out and buying them stuff all the time. Every time they would say something to Rachel about being uncomfortable with Russ being there and always pushing himself on them, Rachel would get mad and make them feel guilty or tell them to do as she says. Lauren had made the comment to me that Rachel had asked her to remind her to put her wedding rings back on before she would come over to the house to drop the girls off to me. They told me that they did not know if Russ was spending the night for sure but stated that they would go to asleep with him there and wake up with him there, And every once in awhile they would disappear off to Rachel’s bedroom. Since Rachel has left the house in the beginning of June she has been nothing but public with her affair with Russ and has even expressed wanting to marry him and move into his house which is right next door to mine. The same people that we use to go out with together and the same people that I asked to give her a job at Adesa auto auction are the same people that she is talking about this new life she wants. The Girls have told many many times that all they do is go over to there moms house and watch TV while Rachel talks on the phone with Russ. They do not feel that they are the most important thing in her life right now. Approximately July 20th I spoke with John and he had told me about the affair that he and Rachel had. He said that it got real uncomfortable when she would bring the girls around him because he felt that she was pushing them into his arms, And his exact words to me were that he is not a father but felt something was wrong with this picture. About a week before that John told me that Rachel came into Emersons with Russ and that it was very uncomfortable for John because he had feelings for Rachel. He had stressed to me that he did not understand why the last few months she was taking the turn in her life that she was taking but he was so overwhelmed with his own emotions for her. He had stated that every time he had seen Rachel at work and talked with her on the phone she had always been drinking wine. That has been one of the biggest downfalls to this marriage and her relationship with her children in the last year. Rachel has created a very difficult way to end our marriage in the past 60 days she has made many comments and decisions with the children that truly have me worried about there personal welfare and what type of values they are going to have as adults when they see what they are seeing and what they will see in the coming months. In the time before she left our house there were many incidents were I questioned her thinking when the children were involved, from drinking every night to going next door to Russ’s house and spending many hours there every night drinking to Letting Russ take Chelsea for a motorcycle ride on a busy highway, Rachel and I have owned many motorcycles in our 14 year marriage and have always agreed that was one thing we would never do is jeopardize our children on a bike. Over the last year Rachel has exhibited behavior that has caused me to question her commitment to her children as there mother, The house has for the longest time not been taking care of For example I have hired on 2 different occasions carpet cleaning companies to come out and try to remove the stains from dog urine and dog poop and the smell in our house has been something that has been very hard for us to deal with. The counters and floors would always have food and them and were riddled with ants. The Refrigerator would have meat that went bad broken glass was all over the freezer from when she dropped a glass of wine in there to get it cold so she could drink it. The girls rooms I had found cat poop and food under there bed and in there closets. And the children’s diet had been pop tarts or cookies for dinner and lunch. The children’s welfare are the most important issue that we have to deal with right now. And I have no doubt that Rachel has the potential to be a very good mother, But the last couple of months she has said things to the children and put them into situations that no 10 and 11 year old should every be in. Just the fact that she brought both John and Russ into there lives put them thru confusion that they should have not been put thru. Chelsea and Lauren told me last week that they feel there mother is replacing them with Russ and that they are concerned that she does not care for them. And they are not comfortable with what she has done and is doing with regards to them. Chelsea’s window faces Russ’s house and since this has all begun Chelsea has not opened her blinds once. I look at my children’s eyes and I see 2 kids that are tired and upset with the events taking place. Rachel comes and picks them up on her night’s and gets home spends about 1-2 hours then according to them goes and gets on the phone and heads to the bedroom and goes to bed. They are left playing playstation or watching Tv by themselves the rest of the evening. I hope to continue to try to raise my children in the way that they understand that this is not what love and marriage are all about. That love is a very special emotion and that it should not be lost over lust or greed. We have been very involved with our church the last month since first attending in the beginning of July. They children are very involved with all the youth programs and attended the Church camp at the beginning of the month. We have had amazing support from 3 of our neighbors which also attend the Church with us. Two of the mother have taken the girls out on many occasions to shop for them and be there for them during these times. Last Sunday 3 of the ladies from our church went to our house while we were out for the day and cleaned it from top to bottom and did all of our laundry which gave me a true understanding what Christianity and friendship are all about. Our day consists of prayer and bible study every night and I must say that it is nice that they do not let me forget to do it no matter how tired I am or what is on my mind it is done. I have learned that no matter what happens the children come first. Rachel and I have not been the best parents in the world they have never been to the dentist and have never been given the unconditional love that they deserve. Because of my work schedule I never gave them the time that they desire for me to spend with them the last 2 years Rachel would spend her time on the computer or in the bedroom while the girls were either out playing or watching tv. I would get home at 9:30 at night and immediately go to bed. In the last 2 months I have spent every minute possible with them and have learned what Rachel and I have done wrong in our relationship with our children.

Part 3

They are finally able to be kids and learn that they have to do there chores bath every day and brush there teeth 3 times a day. I will continue to raise them in a Christian environment with family values no matter what the outcome of this case. Everyone tells me that God has a plan for me and that this is all happening for a reason. On July 17th my children and I were Baptized at the church and I must say that was the most special time I have ever had with my children and it is something that I will never forget. Two weeks ago I figured out that reason and it is for me to be the parent that they want and need and have not had and for me to be the Father that I have always wanted to be. In regards to my work schedule I have spoken with the owner of my company and he has agreed to work out a different position for me given the chance to be a full time father. With this new position I would be home every night before 6 and have weekends off. I have also had a local company show interest in hiring me as a local sales manager with no travel required. I look forward to the day when I am able to spend the quality time with my children that neither of us have.

Another letter by the way I live in South Carolina

My name is Scott Campbell. I am employed by Keffer Jeep Chrysler where I have been the Sales manager for the last 4 months. I have been in the automobile business for about 12 years. Since my separation from my wife, I have been very confused about everything going on. I think a lot of the problem has been the lack of honesty on my wife’s part. On July 4th , after a weekend that I hope I can one day forget, my children and I were invited by our neighbors to a July 4th church function at Mark Rodenhauser’s home. Mark use to play pro football. Being a big football fan myself, I took an immediate liking to him. It was a great time for the 3 of us after what had been going on the last month. Mark gave a sermon to all of the guests at about 8:00 that evening, and I was very touched and moved by his words. Gary had suggested that I spend some time alone with Mark. I explained to Mark about my current situation and the fear and anxiety that I was feeling. He asked me a lot of questions. As time went on, he asked me how I felt about his sermon. I told him that it was very emotional, and that I wanted to hear more to help me have understanding and guidance with everything that was going on. 90 minutes later, I accepted Christ under the fireworks. It was a very joyful and sobering experience. The night ended, and we headed back to our house with Gary and Donna Dean. I could barely speak on the ride home, because I was in such deep thought. The next day I went to work thinking all day about what I had done the evening before, about what I have done the last 36 years of my life, and about what I needed to do for the remainder of my life. The following Sunday was my first service in Church in many years, and the sermon was about children. Needless to say, I felt like Kelvin, our Pastor, was speaking directly to me. It was also a very emotional message. I understood everything that he was saying and the message that he was trying to get across to all of us. I spent the next week reading the Bible, praying every night and every day with my children when they were with me, and praying before every meal with them. The following Sunday the sermon was about finances and how we need to understand what our treasures truly are. Again, it was a very precious message to me. That same day the girls and I were baptized in front of the entire church it was by far the most special time for me in my life to be with my children and for the 3 of us to take this step at a better life and start our new faith together. We went to lunch with our friends after church. Out of the blue, Lauren asked me what adultery was. Apparently, they were discussing the ten commandments at church that morning. When we got home, I used her children’s Bible to help explain it to her. That led to a lot more questions throughout the next couple of weeks. In hindsight, I do not know if I should have answered them or not. For instance, Chelsea has said to me many times that she does not understand why Mommy has had these male friends and why one of them is sleeping over at her apartment all the time. Another occasion Chelsea has brought up many times is why Rachel did not allow me to take Chelsea out for her birthday. Instead, she allowed Russ to take them out. Even though some of the things I have said to the girls might not be right, I have included Russ and John in our prayers every night together. I ask that they may find happiness and understanding in the current situation. Chelsea and Lauren have expressed to me many times that they are worried that Russ or another man might become their stepfather some day. I have told them, that decision is their mothers. I have also told them that no matter what they think or feel, one day they will have to respect the fact that we both might be remarried. I assured them that we will definately consider their feelings when that situation comes up. The last 2 months have been such a rollercoaster for me. I have been tested many times in the process. The current situation with my neighbor Russ has been my biggest test. In the last couple of weeks, Rachel and I have had many conversations about our divorce and the children. At least 3 of those times, he has made derogatory comments in the background so that I can hear him. When I hear him, it makes me quite frustrated. He has also taunted me many times in my own yard. For example, on Wednesday Aug 3rd , I got home about 10 pm. Russ was on his deck talking on the phone. When I got out of my car, he spoke very loud saying ,“Well, Rachel I don’t know”. It surely seemed that he was trying to make sure I knew who he was talking to. All I could do was go inside my house and not look at him. These are just a few examples of issues that I have had to learn to deal with. Even more difficult is knowing that Rachel is involved right now in a very serious relationship with another man which is allowing her to have emotional and financial support. I on the other hand, am trying so hard to take the high road. I am learning to also be a mother for my children. I have had to learn to do things I have never had to do before like cook, do laundry, shop and handle female questions and issues with my girls. That has been quite humerous at times. The bottom line is that I feel I have been an amazing parent for my children these last couple months, given the heartache in my life. It is a very scary experience relying on God to fulfill my loneliness and confusion in my heart, when I have never done that before. The weekend of July 4th , I did some very drastic things. I do not regret what I did. It showed that I am human, and I have been hurt. But the most important thing I got out of that weekend, is a strength in God that has allowed me to move on and give my children every opportunity in life that they want. I can say that I do still love Rachel. I was married to her for over 14 years and even between the lies and betrayal, I can not turn my love off that easily. But I will say that all my life I worried about pleasing her, and now I am going to be the best possible parent that I can be for my children. As I am learning the hard way, everything I say and do from now on will have a direct impact on how they view things in life. I will not allow my children to fail in life because of the mistakes my wife and I have made. I will become a stronger and better Christian and parent because of these tough times.

You will first want to retain legal counsel to obtain custody of your children. Your attorney will be able to state your position in a more precise fashion.

The judge will be told first about how your schedule would allow you to be a full time father, that you make ample income, that you don't drink or do drugs and you are committed to being a good father.

Next you can go into discussion about your wife. Her unsteady employment history, her salary, the lifestyle she is choosing, how she fails to provide adequate care for your children etc.

If the children are old enough the judge may even want to speak to them about the situation. Don't coach them just let them be honest about how they feel.

Good luck with your case.

Thank you we have our 2nd custody hearing on Wednesday of next week.