Sticky custody issue

My husband's Mom has had custody of my husband's son for the last 12 years. He is now 14. As of 6 months ago because of a great lack of supervision he was "removed" from her home and relocated to ours by suggestion of his probation officer. It was not an official transfer of custody. Grandma got a legal form and crossed out the word "parent" and changed it to "grandparent", signed and notarized this form that stated that my husband would have guardianship (which I thought was silly since he is the parent) and that it was revokable at any time by either party. My husband did not sign this form. Grandma and her lovely new boyfriend came to take the child on vacation. The visit turned very ugly when the new boyfriend decided to be himself. They left with the child and called 3 days later and said they are revoking the "guardianship" and that things are to return to "normal". They also are planning on sending him to a bootcamp type school that costs $4500 a month and will not give a straight answer on our financial liability. They live in Oregon, We live in Washington State.
Did her guardianship automatically end when he came to live with us for 6 months? Can she just take him, especially since he's made great strides in school and behaviorally? What is our financial liability regarding the special school? Any help would be appreciated. There is no reason, legally or morally why this child shouldn't have been living with us for the past 11 years that we have been together, guardianship was supposed to be temporary, she just couldn't let go.
A frustrated step-mom with no legal rights on this one..................

You are right to ask these questions and your issues sound very complex. I’m not sure exactly what you mean by a probation officer placing him in your care and the grandmother filling out some sort of revocable legal form. Regardless, these things can get quite complicated and you need to consult an Oregon family lawyer specializing in child custody for some more concrete answers. They can best tell you what your options are. They should also be able to answer some of your questions about financial responsibility for his boot camp.

It sounds like your husband has wanted to get custody of his son for some time. Consulting with a specialist child custody attorney in your area seems way overdue. Start there and good luck!

Thanks for your response and we did meet with a family law attorney today. According to the documents we have been presented with my husband has no legal rights to his son. But more importantly that means that there is no financial liability other than child support. The attorney explained that we are really just "cheerleaders" for my step-son and we should encourage him from afar. If Grandma and her bfriend want to send him to boot camp, then that is their undertaking financially. So some advice to all you who are guardians, you can not just write up a form changing a court's order. If Grandma had consulted an attorney, she would know the same. If its been ordered by the court, it can only be modified by the court.
Step-mom with no rights, but holding on to her checking acct and assets...........

I’m very happy you went to a family lawyer and received complete answers to your questions. Too many people avoid going to an attorney when they have legal issues. These forums are great for basic questions, but only an attorney can give you legal advice and it is almost always better to speak to them then not.

A good rule to follow, if you think you MIGHT need an attorney, talk with one because you probably do and only they can tell you if you don’t!