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Old 03-14-2014, 12:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1
Exclamation Concerning DCFS. I'm desperate.

I'm going to try to put as much detail as possible in this, meaning everything that I know for a fact and anything that I am not positive about but might be useful. I will for warn that I am extremly sleep deprived and currently at work, so I appologize for any misspelling or lost train of thought and it seems as if i am jumping around. Please bare with me.

I am a 23 year old mother, that works full time and a half as a tattoo artist. So obviously I am completly covered in tattoos. The only reason why I find that it is important to say this is because of a couple of different reasons, which mainly revolve around the stereo type of my age, which is self explanitory, and the stereo type behind being as tattooed as I am. Societly looks at us like we are illiterate, selfish, irresposible and drug and party addicts. Hopefully through out this the way that I speak will show that I am none of these things. Or what would be even better is if either of these two pieces of information ment nothing to you and you viewed this situation the same way that you would a view it if it were someone five years older than me with clear skin. Either or I thank you for taking the time to read and/or respond to this.

In early November of last year an incident happened while my 2 and a half year old son was in the care of a baby sitter and person friend. They were suppose to watch them over night for me until noon the next day because I knew I would be drinking and didn't want to risk driving. (It was about a 45 minute drive.) I do want to point out that this person was not an impulse decision for a baby sitter. Not someone I chose because I had no one else. This person had been watching my son for me since he was about 8 or 9 months old.

Well, the incident that took place is that the original baby sitter decided to leave twenty minutes before I was suppose to be home and left my son with another, at the time, mutual friend. He told me he felt as if he had no choice because the original baby sitter was leaving and I wasn't home yet, so he was upset about having to do it. Which I understand being upset with feeling like you have resposibilities pushed on you, yet the second part I do not understand, nor agree with in an kind of way.

Apparently, what happened after the original babysitter left, the second one decided to lay my son down for a nap, knowing that he wasn't tired. So he took my son upstairs and layed him in his bed in my room and went back to the living room with out a worry. Well, as I said previousy my son was in no way ready for a nap, so he hopped out of bed and started playing. The part I forgot to add in with the original baby sitter leaving was that he wasnt just temporarily leaving the house, he was moving out. Which yes I was aware of but it wasn't suppose to take place until later in the after noon. I believe 4 or 5 was the original time.

So, right next to my bedroom was another large bedroom, left with the door slighty ajar and completly empty. What does a normal 2 year old do when they see such a sight? They go and play in the empty room that was previously restricted to them. The conclusion of this part is that my son was left with someone that in turn left him with another person who let him be unattended and my son climbed out of a second story window.

(Side not that I forgot to mention early which is important. About two months previous I spoke with a dcfs investigater because my son climbed out of a window on the first floor of the house. There were no actions that dcfs took against me at that time because it was "understandable" and I agreed to nail all the windows that were in access to my son shut.)

So,Im almost home and I finally get a phone call saying my son was being rushed to the hospital because he broke his leg. So of course I was freaking out and completly flustered when I reached the hospital, crying my eyes out finding words for the doctor hard to come by because I wasn't present. Thankfully my sons leg wasnt broken to the extent of snapped in half. Instead he had to hair line fractures no more than a quarter of a cm long in his growth plate under his ankle. He was in a boot for about a month and a half and continoued to be his lively playful self thru and after the healing process.

Ofcourse with this being the second investigation within a short amount of time they took my son into temporary custody, whhich was completly and still is completly understandable. This than turned into long term protective custody and placed in a home at dcfs descretion, whick thankfully is with my mother. The biggest thing besides this being a second case against me, was that the doctor reported he smelled alcohol on me, which honestly was from a bottle of jack daniels that was spilled on the hoody that I was wearing, from the night before. So he thought I walked into the hospital intoxicated. And again, I understand the concern, and with me being a young mother smack dab in the middle of a generation of "mothers" that don't deserve the title because they do what this doctor thought i was doing, frequently, made his accusation even more understandable and I dont hold anything against him for doing what he thought needed to be done.

I've completed everything that has been asked of me besides the cousling which I start this up coming week and I am being told that soon I can file for unsupervised visits and I am most likely going to have him returned to me. But I have seen alot of reports and articles and blogs of people saying they did everything they were asked and were led to believed their child would be returned home just so that in the end custody was permanently taken and the child was placed in a foster home. And ofcourse this thought terrifies me. I keep seeing all these things saying not to trust anything that dcfs says to me, so I really don't know what to believe any more.

So this is my case so far, so to my current issue. A couple of months ago, my sons father and I decided that we were going to "try again" and see if we could make things work. Which in the end I found out is apparently a new term for, I want to get laid, lets get it on and I'm going to toss you aside when I am bored again. Now, I pregnant again. I'm afraid that if I have an abortion dcfs will view it as a negative thing against my case, but at the same time I feel as if I keep the baby dcfs will view it as I have accepted not having my son and moved on. I don't believe in abortions and I believe that the only good reason to have an abortion is underage pregnancy and rape. I made the decision to have the possibilty have becoming pregnant and I believe I should now face this and accept the fact that I will be a mother of a two. But I am scared that dcfs wont see this the same way.

So, now this is everything. What should I do? What is your advice? Is there something that I am over looking that is more important than I am seeing? With everything... I don't know what to do and I don't want to mess this up. I can't loose my son permanently.
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