08-25-2008, 06:22 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,411
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hleake
My sister got divorced a year or two ago. After the divorced she started dating her ex-husband's best friend (who was like an "uncle" to the kids). The kids are ages 2, 12, & 14. Well, now the ex-husband is wanting to take my sister to court for custody. This has been one nasty divorce and these kids have gone through you-know-where and back. Well, the ex-husband wants her to sign a paper saying that whoever she dates in order for the children to come around/in contact with the guy, the kids AND the ex-husband has to okay it, and vice versa. This is crazy. The ex-husband will always say no. She is going to talk with her lawyer next week about it. I told her to talk to the lawyer about mediation. She is afraid that she will loose her kids, especially the 2 year old. She says that if her lawyer says she will loose the youngest then she will sign the paper.
The ex-husband is not the best father. He "works" (supposively) but his mother pays all of his bills (which there is no way to prove). He will not let my sister find a babysitter for the kids (so she can get a full time job) unless it is one of his family members who are druggies. And CPS has been called twice on him, once by the town sherrif, but nothing has been done. CPS hasn't even came to the house. When the kids are with the dad, yeah, they pretty much get everything and anything they want, money wise. But the 14 year old is always being yelled at, to the point that you can hear it outside of the trailer. And the 12 year old is like the other woman over there. She takes care of the 2 year old and even sleeps in the father's bedroom to help take care of the kid. She doesn't have much of a childhood.
My sister needs some help with this. But is seems like everywhere you go you have to pay for help. Any advice??? Thanks.
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Does he pay child support? Do they currently have joint custody?
Custodial parents don't lose their kids because they don't let their ex spouses decide who they DATE. He won't "let" her get a babysitter?? Aren't they DIVORCED? She needs to tell him there is a new sheriff in town--and she is holding ALL the cards. HE can pay alimony ( if it is legal in her state ) and child support and then SHE is the one who more or less tells HIM what to do.
She needs to look in the mirror and try saying this:
NO.
He can ask her to sign whatever she wants. BUT he doesn't have the right to take away her basic human rights, constitutional rights, freedom of movement, freedom of association ( including DATES!), etc. Did she sign the paper? Even if she did, she isn't compelled to give up her constitutional rights to please a bully of a man. Someone needs to stop this man in his tracks and remind him that he ISN'T the law
He is treating her badly--and there is no reason for her to allow it. The divorced father rarely holds any of the proverbial cards. As long as the mother isn't an 'unfit' parent, he is just blowing smoke.
Tell him she isn't signing anything, nor is she discussing her personal life with him. Tell him if he continues to harass her and tell her she cannot hire a babysitter, or tell her she cannot go to dinner with a friend, she will file a restraining order or OP against him.
There is no reason for a woman in this day and age to put up with this sort of sexist behavior. Tell him this is his stop.... time for him to get off.
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