Child Custody - Verbal Abuse/Threats

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1. Document everything , file police reports for every single incident of threats, harassment, or intimidating behavior.
2. Petition the court for reinstating the OP immediately, before he attempts to do anything with custody ( even though 50/50 doesn't mean he doesn't have to pay child support).
3. Hire an attorney ASAP---and here is why.

One of the problems with situations like this is that unfortunately, the court can view you as being responsible for the creation of this situation as well. In other words, you say he has a history of violence, documented criminal/drug activity for 15 years, yet you allow him around your children, and had a child with him. The result of this is that the court, if it takes a mind to, can question YOUR judgment and suitability and can suggest that your other children are in danger from a man you let come around you even after obtaining a OP against him.

What I am saying is--not only could their well being be in jeopardy at his hand, the court MAY decide that the children may be at risk WITH YOU for allowing him to come and go, back and forth. This means it is important that you:

1. keep records, precisely, dates, times, police report. Organized!
2. do not "waffle" AND go back and forth with this man
3. reinstate the OP
4. HIRE the best attorney you can find----or YOUR children may be in jeopardy of being taken from YOU IFFFFFFFFF ( and I mean IF) the court questions YOUR suitability. You need an attorney to protect YOUR interest and prevent the court from questioning YOUR suitability and judgment to allow this type of thing to go on in the first place.

Your children need 1. to be safe and 2. to have you safe.

Act now. Protect them AND yourself.

First of all ( and only YOU can answer this) in your heart of hearts, is this really about getting custody? I mean--if what you have said is true--he has kids he has never seen, I don't think he WANTS custody--he wants to TORMENT you. And he is succeeding.

I would NOT place a lien on your house for this---because if for some reason you cannot pay, then YOU are homeless and he can petiton the court for custody.

If you can get legal aid, or an attorney to give you procedural advice---what form to file, how to submit it, you can do this on your own.

The KEY is PRECISION and ACCURACY. Logs--dates, times, places---and distinguish between what is relevant---the fact he never saw one of his kids until adulthood may reflect on his character, but it will be hard to make a parallel to the 'here and now'.

I would keep your intentions a secret---play your hand close to your vest, so to speak. And you MUST, first of all get the OP against him again. SO when you Do go to court you have a nice foundation for a case against him and in YOUR favor. I would be careful pointing out he used drugs for 15 years because the court obviously wonders why did you have a kid with him or even stick around? So, bring up the drug use (if there is PROOF and not word against word) --if he was convicted bring up his criminal record--that is FACT. Just calling him a drug user isn't FACT---although he well may be. A DOCKET Number where he was CONVICTED IS delightful PROOF.

My feeling is ( and you may not agree with me--I am just guessing)---that he is enjoying tormenting you. He doesn't want the kid--it's ALL about the 'game'. You need to stop the game in it's tracks---by playing hard ball. 1. OP. Its a MUST. THAT is your foundation, your basis for all other "proof" of his unfitness.

I believe NOT acting is negligent. Follow your heart--you will know what to do.

Good luck. AND DONT GIVE UP . People like that LIVE off your fear.

Don't let him---and the OP is the first way to give yourself some breathing room.... Stay focused..........and go get 'em!