08-24-2008, 02:04 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,411
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misundastood3
Hello. I recently found out that my child's father has finally petitioned for legitimization and child support. Our beautiful daughter is 3 years old, and for the past few years we have managed to stick with a schedule and I work with him on holidays, etc. However, I recently prevented my daughter from visiting on her usual Tuesday-Thursdays because for the past few months she has become defensive when asked does she wants to see her daddy. She will cry if she thinks he is at the door to pick her up, or run away and hide. He called on Father's Day, she didn't want to talk to him that time or any other for that matter. I know he has a girlfriend (she's not too new and they live together), but as my daughter gets older, she expresses that she does not want to go over there. She says her daddy doesn't love her. I don't know if neglect or what is going on, but as this situation goes to court, I want to be prepared. His work schedule varies, sometimes he can't get her because he has to work and he will let me know at the last minute. He's recently been working 10 hours and gets off at 8, which means he's not spending time with her. I work overnight and am able to be with my daughter all day while my mother cares for her at night. I am also a college student in my last semester (I graduate in December) and go to class while she is with her father. Her doctor, daycare, close family and playmates are in a 10-mile radius of our home. I am very new to this legal stuff and had a few questions that I feel I need to know before I proceed:
What are my chances of getting primary custody?,
Should I look into the behavior of my child further such as seek a child psychologist (main reason I stopped letting her visit) or does the courts handle that?
What should I look forward to during these proceedings?
Do I need a lawyer?
How will the visitation go?
any info is greatly appreciated!!!
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Broken families are traumatic for a child--being packed off and shuttled between parents who don't care enough for each other to actually be together and stay together sends significant psychological implications about security and safety to am impressionable child. When two adults in a child's live, two adults that he or she loves very much, don't love each other or STOP loving each other, is it a wonder THEY feel confused, abandoned or torn?
A child in this situation could desperately benefit from counseling. I am not certain that the dad having a girl friend is to blame for the angst the child feels---who knows? Obviously, a mental health professional would be able to assist you the best. A court would not ORDER you to provide mental health counseling unless given a reason to do so--how would they know she is having difficulty? Taking the initiative yourself and getting counseling will speak well for your maturity and responsibility as the primary parent.
Also, you asked about visitation? There is no way anyone on the Internet could predict how a court would rule regarding visitation. The rest of your questions are more procedural in nature---a local attorney can advise you the best regarding the procedural laws of your jurisdiction.
Good luck.
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