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Old 07-07-2008, 04:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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My name is Tammy. I'm a single mom with 1 child left at home, getting ready to start college in a couple months. I hope to find some much needed answers on this forum. My daughter had unexpected medical problems this year. I have asked the ex for help on her medical bills, but he refuses. Unfortunately, in our divorce decree it only states that he will carry ins on her and nothing more. He went to court recently to try to have his support lowered. I received the order from that case & all it states is that his support will not be lowered and he can put our daughter on his wife's ins. After sending him some of the unexpected medical bills, his wife wrote back and said he doesn't have to pay them. She stated that per the judge, he is responsible for 80% and I'm responsible for 20% of her bills. According to the wife, the judge explained that what the ins pays is the ex's 80% share, so I have to pay the rest. Like I said, it says nothing to that effect in the most recent court order, so I will not take just their word for what the judge supposedly said. The ex also refuses to help me with our daughter's college tuition. My question is, do I have a case here? I would like to have both the divorce decree amended & the child support worksheet amended as well. I would also like him to have to pay my atty & all court costs because I am being forced into this action. I am in the process of trying to find a really good attorney, but unfortunately, I don't know any attorneys, nor do I know anyone in that part of the state who can recommend a good attorney to me. I live about 2 hours south of where the court was that took care of the divorce. Does anyone have suggestions as to what I can or cannot do in this situation? Any help would be very much appreciated.

Last edited by tammyroth; 07-07-2008 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 07-07-2008, 05:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tammyroth View Post
My name is Tammy. I'm a single mom with 1 child left at home, getting ready to start college in a couple months. I hope to find some much needed answers on this forum. My daughter had unexpected medical problems this year. I have asked the ex for help on her medical bills, but he refuses. Unfortunately, in our divorce decree it only states that he will carry ins on her and nothing more. He went to court recently to try to have his support lowered. I received the order from that case & all it states is that his support will not be lowered and he can put our daughter on his wife's ins. After sending him some of the unexpected medical bills, his wife wrote back and said he doesn't have to pay them. She stated that per the judge, he is responsible for 80% and I'm responsible for 20% of her bills. According to the wife, the judge explained that what the ins pays is the ex's 80% share, so I have to pay the rest. Like I said, it says nothing to that effect in the most recent court order, so I will not take just their word for what the judge supposedly said. The ex also refuses to help me with our daughter's college tuition. My question is, do I have a case here? I would like to have both the divorce decree amended & the child support worksheet amended as well. I would also like him to have to pay my atty & all court costs because I am being forced into this action. I am in the process of trying to find a really good attorney, but unfortunately, I don't know any attorneys, nor do I know anyone in that part of the state who can recommend a good attorney to me. I live about 2 hours south of where the court was that took care of the divorce. Does anyone have suggestions as to what I can or cannot do in this situation? Any help would be very much appreciated.

You weren't in court when the order was amended? What does the decree say? Does it say YOU have to pay all the co-pays? It should be pretty clear in its wording. If it does, I would inform the court that she is in violation of the order. I don't understand why his wife is "telling" you anything--you weren't there to ask questions yourself or contest or support this amending of the order?

You can post your question on the main part of LegalMatch.com and seek the help of an attorney in your area there who may reply.

Also, many states have laws whereby if the child is in college, the father can be ordered to contribute, as well as pay for child support. If your child is nearly grown, I assume you have been in court many times over the years regarding issues such as these--- would you be comfortable representing yourself in court?
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Old 07-07-2008, 05:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleGrace View Post
You weren't in court when the order was amended? What does the decree say? Does it say YOU have to pay all the co-pays? It should be pretty clear in its wording. If it does, I would inform the court that she is in violation of the order. I don't understand why his wife is "telling" you anything--you weren't there to ask questions yourself or contest or support this amending of the order?

You can post your question on the main part of LegalMatch.com and seek the help of an attorney in your area there who may reply.

Also, many states have laws whereby if the child is in college, the father can be ordered to contribute, as well as pay for child support. If your child is nearly grown, I assume you have been in court many times over the years regarding issues such as these--- would you be comfortable representing yourself in court?
Unfortunately, when he tried to modify his support, I couldn't afford to travel to the court. Instead, I wrote to the court explaining my situation and asking the court to hold him responsible for part of the medical expenses. Apparently, that was not addressed. The order states very little regarding medical bills.

We have never been to court before that time, because he was always very good about paying support. He worked in the carpenter's union, so he always had me send her medical bills to him, he paid them, then would be reimbursed from an account the union had. So, he's never actually been "out of pocket" on her bills. In December of 06, he was laid off from the union. I cannot prove anything, but I understand he had a choice to work out of state or be laid off. He chose the lay-off. We had no problems at all, until April of 08, when I sent him a bill. He then called my daughter & said he couldn't pay it. She told him he needed to talk to me about that. Instead of calling me, he called the dr. and told the dr. I was responsible for the first $517. of her medical, (unfortunately, it does state that on the support worksheet.) The reimbursement benefit was stopped because of his lay-off. When his unemployment was ready to run out, he wrote the court and asked to have his support modified. He never called to talk to me about it or anything. I found out from the dr's office that he called. Coincidentally, I knew 3 months before his unemployment ran out that he was going to go to work for an old boss, but only after that stopped. He started working for that company the monday after the unemployment stopped.

As for the wife...I've stated on several occasions that she needs to stay out of it, but she will not. The letter she sent me was typed as if it was from him, but he doesn't know how to type. He doesn't use the same wording as was in the letter either. The Mrs. controls everything in their household. Absolutely everything of value is in her name alone and she takes care of their finances. So needless to say, he has allowed her to take over his responsibilty as well.

The ex & I have always been able to work situations out without the help of attorneys or courts in the past. Situations such as this has only happened since he remarried.

The divorce decree is very vague regarding medical & unexpected expenses. All it states is that he has to carry insurance on our daughter. It does not say that I'm responsible for the rest of the medical, nor does it say he is. That's why I want to have it amended, along with the child support worksheet.

Last edited by tammyroth; 07-07-2008 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Re-wording
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