Homeless Father

I live in Va. I share legal custody of my 8 yr old son with his father. My son visits his father every other weekend. His father is good to him but he has made some decisions as of late that are very irresponsible.(In my opinion) These decisions have resulted in the lose of his residence. Because of this loss he, his wife( who is expecting), his other son and his daughter are now going to move in with his in-laws. My problem with this is my husband and I now have to drive over an hour and a half to meet at visitation time and the living conditions for my son are not acceptable. When my son will stay with his father they will be living in a three bedroom house. The in-laws will be occupying one room. My son's father and his wife in another room and my 8 yr old son his 6 yr old brother and his 4 yr old sister will be in the 3rd bedroom. When we went to court after my son's birth I was told that he must have a bedroom or at least a bed of his own. Living in this house with 6 other people (soon to be 7 when the new baby is born) prohibits my son from having his own room and his own bed. Am I legally justified in suspending visitation until my sons father improves these living conditions.

I must take the moral ground in this case. Do you think it is more important that your son have his father in his life or his own room? How do you know that your son won't have his own bed per court order?

I guess that if he is not complying with the agreement than you can petition the court but before you do think hard and long about the implications this will have on your son. When he gets old enough he might come to resent you because you took his father away because of a bed or an hour and a half drive.

I appreciate your moral opinion however when I posted to this forum I was in search of legal advice. I was not in search of yours or anyone else's moral opinion. To answer your question as to whether it is more important for my son to have his father in his life or his own bed. It is more important for my son to have his father in his life. However, if his father's life is so that he can not provide for his sons(my 8 yr old son and his 6 yr old brother), his daughter, his unborn child, his wife and himself the neccesities of life such as a roof over head, ,food in their stomach and clothes on their back would one be unrealistic to request that his father be able to provide such things before I am required to send my son for overnight visits? Thus my question: Am I legally justified in suspending visits?
I am not in search of removing my son's father from his life. If I was I could have done it by now. This man has not paid child support for the past FIVE years.
And as far as my son resenting me for taking his father out of his life couldn't that question be reversed? Do you think that by being exposed to the unstable environment that his father provides for him and the alcoholics and druggies that his father exposes him to he could be influenced to make very wrong decisions later in his life that could lead to very harsh and serious consequences? And when my son is faced with these consequences and I am unable to help him out of them don't you think that he would resent me for allowing those influences in his life? It really is a very tough situation when you look at every aspect of the situation, isn't it???
I know I sound harsh and snobbish but I am frustrated with the situation that I face. And I am concerned for the well being of my son. He is my only son and I cherish him. With the conditions of the world today it is a real challenge to raise a child to be a good person that makes wise decisions. As parents we seek to rid our childs life of negative influences. Unfortunately, due to my bad choices earlier in life my son is exposed to bad things through his father. I have made wiser choices and that is why my life has changed for the better. His father has continued to make bad decisions and that is why he now has a family of four with no means to support them. I just need to know what my rights are in order to protect my son.

Thank you

Please read last paragraph of my post. If you don't know how to file a modification you will want to talk to the court clerk to find out exact paperwork to file.

P.S. In your original post you forgot to mention that this environment was wrought with drugs and alcohol. All you stated was that your son's father was good to him. I was unaware of the abuse your son's father was exposing him to and in light of the situation your son's father should have supervised visitation with his son only so not to expose him to the drug and alcoholic lifestyle that you speak of.