help ASAP!!!! unfair support

the prosecutors, acting on behalf of my ex girlfriend w/whom i have an 8 mnth old daughtr w/, said they wanna charge my support based on an $8/hr 40 hr job...but i dont even have a job!!! what cani do to make sure that doesn't happen!!!!???

Why is supporting YOUR child YOU made UNFAIR? Get a job. There. Now it's fair.

Why in the world would you want to make sure that doesn't happen? Do you really think it's fair that your girlfriend gets to buy diapers, formula, medicine, food, etc. for YOUR child??

The only thing you CAN do is be the man you acted like when you conceived the child---get a JOB. Having a job or NOT having a job is irrelevant. The other taxpayers and I do not want to pay for YOUR child since YOU do not have a job. Who is supporting YOU? Perhaps instead of engaging in such activity that results in the birth of unwanted children, you should have been out supporting YOURSELF with the ever popular means employed by millions--the ever famous---J----O---B.

What a shame your biggest concern is how to avoid responsibility instead of worrying about how your flesh and blood is going to suffer with a father who doesn't care about her well being.

DOOR ONE: Get a JOB. Be a man. Accept responsibility for a situation YOU created.

DOOR TWO: Go to jail for failure to pay child support and be yet another statistical deadbeat parent.

Your choice. Good luck.

Some states will use actual income to calculate child support; others will project potential earnings, based on your age, job experience, etc. to reach a figure. $8/hr is just slightly over minimum wage; you're looking at around possibly $275/month, if your state uses the old "20%" factor. Some don't any more; some still do. Either way, you aren't excused from paying support for the child you helped create simply because you have no job. The courts don't care how you pay it; that's not their concern. You simply owe it (or the amount they determine.) Unless you have a good family attorney and can show any credible or convincing reason why any decrease is either justified or warranted, you're required to pay it when that support order is signed by a judge. Period. That won't change unless your current custody order is modified and somehow you end up with physical custody of the child .. another difficult and very expensive proposition as well. Those are the only 2 circumstances that come to mind to answer your question above.

Any chance of working out a compromise between you and your ex-girlfriend? It would go much better for you if the 2 of you could come to some sort of middle ground, have attornies review a modified support agreement, then file the appropriate request for modification. Short of all of these options, I really don't see any alternatives.

Good luck.

HUH?

"It would go much better" for the poster to come to a "middle ground"? What middle ground IS there in child support?? The middle ground is a court saying, "Wow, here is this mom, paying for medicine, healthcare, rent, electricity, groceries, water, phone, car, insurance, etc. Lets have Pops pay a little, too." (Two or three hundred dollars a month doesn't BEGIN to approach "middle ground" when it comes to the cost of raising a child.) In order to even get CLOSE to "middle ground", Skippy would have to cough up at least another grand.

Please, give an example of what possible other "give and take" there could be in the payment of child support.

"Honey, tell the kid not to wet so much. I cannot afford diapers just yet"?

Even if he and she AGREE to a lesser amount---this doesn't give them the right or the expectation to have the court supercede legal guidelines that dictate how much child support should be paid. They can agree and sign papers all day long---it doesn't matter in the least. And, furthermore, if her attorney is worth anything at all, he would advise her NOT to accept less than the standard amount of child support ordered by the court. There is a REASON the court orders the amount they do.

I cannot imagine an attorney advising a mother to say, "Oh, it's ok--I don't mind waiting for child support until Skippy gets a job. No problem. The kid can wear the same diaper and we can eat bread three meals a day! No problem. Take your time!" She and the poster can make agreements ALL day long---the court is under no compulsion to even consider such a request, barring exigent circumstances, especially if it is submitted AFTER the order to pay child support is issued.

I suspect you could find a woman say, "Awww, it's ok. My mommy and daddy can support me. Skippy doesn't have to pay. Its ok. Really." And, in fact, I have even heard mothers say, "I don't want a PENNY of that man's money!!" Yet, the court ORDERS child support. The reason? Society has a vested financial and societal interest in children that are not supported by their fathers. I personally do not know of a single parent ( usually mother in particular) who is NOT receiving child support that is NOT on welfare. Welfare means taxpayers get to foot the bill----"agreements" between the mother and father notwithstanding.

It is not unlike a domestic violence dispute. The abused party often changes their mind, and they beg and plead for the abuser not to be sent to jail. The same "societal" rule applies. Society (the courts, laws) proceed with charges against the abuser---the court case isn't a matter of Skippy vs. Skippy, (wife against husband) its a matter of the State of Such and Such vs. Skippy.

Child support is ordered by the court, REGARDLESS of the financial "need". Perfect example: Super model has baby with rock star. She makes MILLIONS. Father pays hundreds of thousands a month in child support. What is the point? The mother has money on her own. The point is---the FATHER SHOULD support his child---even if the child doesn't "need" the money because of the affluence of the mother, he NEEDS to know his father CARES and is supporting him, presumably interested in his future.

A young man unwilling, unable, or even uneducated enough to get a job that pays more than minimum wage is hardly grounds for amending a child support order. The large percentage of fathers that are herded through family court daily try to get out of paying child support. This poster is no different. The purpose of asking the court for an amended support order is to consider a drastic change in life circumstances, such as a sudden job loss, a death in the family, unexpected illness that resulted in significant medical bills, etc. Skippy being unwilling or unable to find a job hardly qualifies.

The bigger problem is evident from Skippys original posting. He thinks it is unfair for him to be ordered to take care of his child that he spawned. Think about it.

man i love it!!! i post trying to get help and this "gracey" or whatever starts razzin on me???!!! i dont wanna get out of it u dimwit i want the situation to fill out as it can, if i dont have financial stability or the grounds to have the child support money to pay on time, then i need to aquire them, not become indebted to the point i can never fulfill my duties!!! 6-12 MONTHS IS JUST ENOUGH, and in that time i can only for sure have $100 a month....maybe, just maybe, a part time employment. i want help,not superficial femi-nazi talk.... if i didnt kno anybettr id say u were cassie's mom or worse her stuck up mistake making aunt, the facts are straight. i applied to job corps before the complaint and summons, i asked for an over the phone hearing because my situation wont allow me to do it any other way, and i deserve something more than a judiciary up the rear!!!!I DONT NEED TO GET SCREWED BUT THATS MICHIGAN's DAMN M.O.!!!!! AND I AM GOING TO STAND UP, IF THEY DONT SEE THE TRUTH AND THE HEART I AM PUTTING INTO THIS, IT'S THEIR FAULT NOT MINE!!!! besides, the mother is the one who left me, are you saying free money isn't free????! well then why is it all on me!!!! she is the one with assistance up the wazoo!!!!!! i dont even have basic medical, i haven't seen a doctor in 5 years. ive gone my whole life living without, and living in despair, socially, mentally, and phyically, whats that compared to having to wait 6 months???!! after that ill have placement oppurtunities and ill have a decent job, with an actual career based income to hold my own and pay over 400 in child support.... im not trying to weasel out of it i want to help for my daughters WHOLE life not until i cant handle the unfair payments anymore. oh and 1 more thing, we can still get back togethr i just think she's afraid too, i would,and i would be proud to see my daghter every waking moment. i would be proud to sleep in the same bed with the only woman i ever really loved, and cuddle her to sleep. but she messd up and she has to fix that....besides i cant, she has made sure i cant contact her, even lied about her residence on the complaint!

Sorry--let me put DOWN my violin I was using to play "My heart bleeds for you." The courts hear the "Not today, not right now..soon... I can pay soon... " EVERY single day. No one says, "Oh, yippie, I have a few extra hundred dollars right now. Let me send it to my ex for child support!" If you have gone your entire life in such poverty and hopeless despair as you have stated, why haven't you DONE something to change it? And, more importantly, why in the WORLD did you choose to bring a child into such a self-described hell? Newflash, Skippy. Your life is NO harder than anyone else's. Do yourself a favor and lose the VICTIM mentality. You say you need "6-12 months"---and suddenly your "whole entire life" you describe as poverty stricken and hopeless will suddenly be transformed? You are deluding yourself. You will never be more than you are in this moment with your mentality of victimhood--NOT because you CAN'T, but because you WON'T.

Call me all the names you want, Skipper. But, the reality is I am doing what YOU cannot. I am supporting, entirely, my children I brought into the world. Those of us that CAN---DO, and we resent the victim mentality of those who DON'T because they are too weak or selfish to do what we do daily--WE HELP OURSELVES.

Here is the bottom line: WHAT is the child supposed to do because YOU weren't financially, emotionally, or any OTHER way READY to become a parent, yet you chose to become one anyway. Not eat? Be cold in the winter? Don't talk to me about the pressures of caring for children.

My husband of twenty years recently died at the hand of a careless driver--and left seven children of ours that I have to care for. So, you aren't alone when it comes to feeling the pressures of how to care for children you brought into the world. The difference is---I was and AM ready. BEFORE I ever MADE children, I was ready. And, I am also ready to care for them entirely financially, too, because I PLANNED for this possibility--the possibility that I would be a widow at a relatively young age.

You haven't planned. You made a child, and the best you can do is keep up. EVERYONE feels the panic and the frustration. The difference is YOU think somehow YOU are being treated unfairly. If you believe that, go to court, hope the judge isnt female---and say everything you've said here to her.

A CHILD SUPPORT ORDER ISNT UNFAIR SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARENT READY TO PAY. Lather, rinse, repeat. A CHILD SUPPORT ORDER ISNT UNFAIR SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARENT READY TO PAY. Repeat until the meaning sinks through your "I'm such a victim" mentality.

You made choices in your life, just as did I. Everyone has to live with the choices they have made and the consequences thereof. I suggest you prepare to do the same. Get a real picture of what is going on. Stop thinking of yourself as a hapless victim. The judge isn't going to buy it. Neither is your child who will grow up deprived of basic needs because she has a father who describes himself as "living in despair, socially, mentally, and phyically".

Expect more of yourself, Skippy. Your kid does.