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Old 07-30-2007, 08:02 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: San Diego, California
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Default Child Custody help!

My situation is a little diffrent thatn most. My situation is I have 2 children (1&2) My girlfriend I have been with for 4 1/2 years. We no longer have the "love" between us anymore. We both want the children in our custody. The reason why I feel like I should have full custondy of my children is because my ex is not documented in the us and I feel like she cannot provide a good life for my children w/out having the legal rights of the US. She cannot work/rent/or even be in the US. Just a couple of months ago she was deported for theft. Me on the other hand I just finished school , I have a steady source of income (stability) I have a home for my children. I believe they will have a better life with thier father because of my stability.
So my question is, since thier mother is not a resident nor have a visa for the US is it more likely I will gain custosdy of my children?
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Old 07-30-2007, 10:24 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by terronwinn View Post
My situation is a little diffrent thatn most. My situation is I have 2 children (1&2) My girlfriend I have been with for 4 1/2 years. We no longer have the "love" between us anymore. We both want the children in our custody. The reason why I feel like I should have full custondy of my children is because my ex is not documented in the us and I feel like she cannot provide a good life for my children w/out having the legal rights of the US. She cannot work/rent/or even be in the US. Just a couple of months ago she was deported for theft. Me on the other hand I just finished school , I have a steady source of income (stability) I have a home for my children. I believe they will have a better life with thier father because of my stability.
So my question is, since thier mother is not a resident nor have a visa for the US is it more likely I will gain custosdy of my children?

Where are the children now? Where does the mother live? If she was deported for theft, did she ever return to the US? Was she here illegally when the children were born? Are the children US citizens?

Perhaps with you paying child support for two children, and her returning to her country of origin, she CAN support them rather nicely.

You are playing with fire. Citizenship does not determine the "worth" of a parent, nor does it establish legitimacy or supremacy over the other parent. She is clearly disadvantaged since she ISN'T a US citizen. In other words, if she WAS able to work and had the same OPPORTUNITY that YOU have as a US citizen, you would then, in fact, be "equal" in those qualities you say make you a better parent.

I wouldn't consider myself the "better" parent simply because my birthright affords me OPPORTUNITY that the other natural parent is, unfortunately, denied. I suspect, though, as a single mother, she could get welfare, and other government aid. And, with the healthy amount of child support you would certainly PAY her as the mother of your two children, I suspect she could do rather nicely financially and attain the same "stability" that you say you have.

Interestingly enough, your posting all focused on MATERIAL things. While material things ARE important---all the love in the world cannot keep away the pangs of hunger or the chill of winter---you've missed even mentioning the things that are most important in being a parent. Not even a mention of poor babies without their mother, or if she leaves the country with them, poor babies without a father.

As a recently widowed woman with seven children of my own, I can attest the fact that nothing is more cruel to a child than the loss of a parent--whether through death, or through "not feeling the love" any more--whatever in the world THAT means. You felt it enough to make two babies in two years. Consider counseling to make your relationship work. I know of two people, at least, who may be irreparably harmed. Think for just a moment of what is best for THEM, instead of bickering over them as though they were chattel.

You need the best legal as well as relationship counseling you can get.
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