Modification assistance...

Divorced, visitation where ex gets my daughter every other weekend and then on the off weekends on thurs nights. He only started visitation with her when she was 2 years old since he paid less the more he saw her. Ex moves 3 hours away just to move in with another girl. We never went back to remodify agreement. I give him an extra week in winter break, summer and spring to make up for it and have time with her. This has been going on for almost 2 years. In that time, he has not brought her back when he should, made demands saying if I don't meet him halfway he won't bring he back, so I have to go get her, has pancreatis episodes from drinking too much after we split where he ends up in hospital and cannot bring her back, she has missed school now from it. At the times he picks her up he is rude to me as well as abusive by calling me names. I am now 7 months prego by someone else and it has gotten worse. He says I am keeping him from his daughter and I have NEVER done that. The reason being he went to Oregon for 2 weeks and wanted her to go. I said no, because the last times he had her... he couldn't bring her back from visitation due to car and medical issues he had. I had to miss work and take my other child out of school to drive 6 hours there and back to get her. I didn't feel safe with her going 13 hour drive after the recent visitation episodes, when he cannot even bring her back. I told him I would let her go a week with her when he got back and it isn't good enough for him. He wants her for a month. Now he is threatening me and making things hard for me by harrassing me about it at work. Telling me the judge will grant him full since I am so dumb and a liar. I told him to get a lawyer and lets go back to court. He says he is going to ask for all summer and all breaks with weekends. I don't know what to do. He files for her on his taxes when he signed the divorce decree saying I am the one to do that. Lies to child support about who is living with him and how much he makes. Also recently got inheritance and severence from job, but won't pay child support... I am about to have an early labor from this and all he can do is laugh in my face. I feel helpless. What can I do??? My daughter sleeps on the living room floor as well as with him and his girlfriend (she is 6) and everytime she goes for an extended period I have to pack a bunch of her stuff here since he has nothing there for her... there is so many more things, but this is the gist of it. I cannot afford much being a single mother, so any advice would be great.


I posted to find a legal match, but in a month no one responded to it...

You have 2 choices here: either file for a modification or stick with the original agreement (to the letter.) That means no more 'free' time or deviating from the original order, including participating in either picking up your child or dropping her off, unless your order already specifies it. If your ex doesn't return your child according to the order, he's in violation, not you. It all depends on the language within your order. Given that your circumstances have changed significantly, I'd suggest filing for a modification as soon as possible. The distance must be taken into consideration; the custodial parent must be contacted ASAP in case of any medical emergency .. the 2 of you need to work together if at all possible to get an agreement worked out between you and then filed with the courts. An attorney can help; given your past experiences, it's probably not a bad idea to consult with one in your area for specific guidance. (In my opinion.) He's risking intervention by the IRS by filing against the recorded order, at the very least. As long as you have your recorded order, are filing the correct tax forms (you'll need one for Children of Divorced Parents at the very least,) and are complying with that order, you're entitled to file as well. Again, you can contact IRS yourself to make absolutely certain you're protected.

In regards to the child support issue, you may want to contact your local Department of Childen, Family and Social Services Child Support Enforcement Division and find out what outlet you may have there. There may be certain steps they can take to intervene on your behalf to collect the support due. Legal aid in your area may also be able to direct you to agencies for help as well, as you didn't mention which state you and your daughter reside in.

Hope this helps. Good luck to you.