Will I have to pay support?

Hello. I am in NY. My son is 18 and not living with me. He was found to be bi-polar and due to some of his actions he is now living with my parents. He was incorrigble, mouthy, and did whatever he wanted before he took a swing at my wife one day while he was 16. He was restrained and suffered bruises and a bloodied nose and lip. He fled the house we were at and called the state police. They arrived, questioned him and the nine people there and he was arrested and subsequently found guilty of harrasment. At this time he was on probation for stealing money from his place of employment. My parents stuck there nose in, allowed him to move to their home just because "he doesn't WANT to live at home and does not like rules or his step-mother. My father then went and filed for "physical custody". At the time of the incident he was starting to smoke. I am totally against it and we were having battles over it. After moving to my parents they allowed it and facilitated it by buying him cigarettes. Everything I didn't want him to do, they allowed. He has since done the same things to my parents, ie: mouthy, not complying, running away. ( which they did not report to his probation officer ) and has spent time in jail for violation of probation. My father and I have not got along since the incident with my wife. We had an agreement for me to help financially but it wasn't good enough for him. Now he has taken me to court for support. The hearing examiner said due to my income I could pay as much as $336.00 bi-weekly !!!! I cannot afford this. He HAS a home to come to. He CHOOSES not too. Should I be held liable? Will I??? Thank you for any thoughts.

I am puzzled as to why you are paying child support for a child that has already reached the age of majority. Are you in arrears?

NY is one of those states that can order a parent to pay for their childs college education past the age of 18 or 19 (N. Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 240(1-b)(c)(7))---but that wasn't mentioned in your posting.

It would appear that support can continue based on a court decision. The following link may help: http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/educate.htm. There's probably also a math calculation based on need, your income, etc. (http://www.legalmatch.com/law-librar...-new-york.html) I'm curious as to whether your offer to house him would affect the amount; you may want to ask if anything you can contribute would help offset the standard calculation. Every little bit helps. You may also want to inquire when the court would determine him emancipated as well.

Good luck.

Matt will be a senior in high school this fall. What does it take for a child to be considered emancipated in New York? Does the insolence, the legal problems, and the fact of not wanting to come home for such miniscule ridiculous reasons warrent emancipation?

First of all, the state of New York does not have in place any court rules (look up judicial vs. statutory emancipation, yada yada) governing a child's emancipation, and does not afford complete emancipation (meaning that the disability of being a minor still exists, i.e. cannot vote, enter into binding contracts, etc) In any regard, you are missing the point of emancipation. The purpose of emancipation is not to allow parents who don't want to pay child support or parent's who don't get along with their nearly-adult children to absolve their legal responsibility towards the child.

Emancipation is something the CHILD seeks on his own for any number of reasons. Generally, in order for a child to be granted emancipation, he has to prove he has been living apart from his parents, on his own, and has not been receiving any funds or financial support whatsoever from either parent. A child also has to demonstrate the ability to handle and manage their financial affairs as well has having to show they are mentally and emotionally capable of being on their own. From what you have said about your son and his behavior, he does not meet any of these criteria.

Interestingly enough, your posting implies your father was granted custody of your child. While you roundly criticize your parents for their parenting skills, they did, I assume, raise you, and they court found them "fit" to parent YOUR son instead of you. What were the reasons that the court gave for deciding your parents would be better for the child than you? Also, do you think your parents are spending more than $300+ bi-weekly? Something tells me they just might be.

Just a thought.

No, those aren't typical reasons a court would consider. http://www.legalmatch.com/law-librar...n-lawyers.html. I suspect the circumstances in your post may be a bit more complicated than you indicated and as such, I'd be remiss in not suggesting you contact an attorney for specific guidance. After hearing your personal history, I think he/she might be able to better answer under what circumstances a NY court would consider your son emanicipated. I also believe the fact you've already been voluntarily contributing towards your son's future with your "financial arrangement" should be taken into consideration .. and if in fact, the custodial parent (your father) has been contributing towards such things as under-age smoking, for example, I believe that should be taken into consideration as well. FYI: "Could be as much as" a certain amount doesn't necessarily translate into the actual amount ordered after all pertinent factors are taken into consideration. Personally, I wouldn't recommend you attempt this without counsel, given the family history you've posted.