Depressed in NJ

I have a two year old son. We have joint shared and physical custoday. Meaning, we both have him the exact same amount of time. My EX (Girlfriend) took me to court last year and got a support order. I was paying her 50 dollars a week before the order, plus 65 dollars a month in health insurance. The basic support was ordered for 72 dollars a week and half of her day care expenses (50 dollars weekly). It worked out for her to cover 41 percent and 59 percent for me. I had to start sending him to day care on the days I have him as well, so we decided that we would pay our own day care (100 dollars weekly) and I would pay her the required 72 dollars a week. I realize that this may not seem like a lot of money. But, I only make 34,000 dollars a year. Basically I have to pay when he's at her house and at my house. It doesn't seem fair considering we have him the exact same amount of time. Plus, she is living at home with her parents. I got an apartment with my girlfriend about 7 months ago. Here's the kicker though... She went on vacation for a week in June and is going on a 7 day cruise with her boyfriend in August! How is it that I'm getting effed so bad? I have so many bills that I'm running a 7000+ credit card bill just to buy gas and food. The thing is, I don't mind paying or providing for my Son. I love him more than anything on this earth and take great pride in being a good father to him. I just feel like any money I givc her is for her personal entertainment because she lives with her parents. Christ, I could go on all day. I don't what I can do to get some relief.

You need to separate in your mind the legal aspects of your situation from the emotional aspects. The fact she is cutting expenses while living at home and can afford to go on a vacation while you are having trouble making ends meet is really irrelevant, unless, of course, you go back to court and ask for the judge to reevaluate the child support order. For example, look at wealthy couples---famous actresses married to high-paid sports players. They do not need alimony or child support either, for that matter. But, you can bet they get huge awards from the court anyway. Even if she remarries well ( if she does ) does not mean you still do not have to pay child support.

Your posting states you and she "decided" to change the terms of the child support financial court order. This is, under no circumstances, acceptable, regardless of what you "agree" to. The court order must be followed, unless, of course, you petition the court for it to be changed.

Another suggestion--if you have to put the child in daycare while you are supposed to be parenting him, why don't you just let her keep him those times as well to help save on daycare money? Just a thought.

Bottom line: Unless you petition the court for a change in the order, it is not legal to change it by simply "agreeing". Following the court order implicitly protects you both---that way the other one cannot get angry later and report you haven't followed the court order.