Rest assured, not a single person actually READ through all of that.

Everyone makes mistakes in their life, and everyone has heartache and tragedy---but not everyone goes to a LEGAL forum and outlines it in minute detail.

Again, for what reason? This isn't MENTAL health.

It is a LEGAL FORUM. I don't see a SINGLE question mark in your posting, besides the last sentence, a rhetorical "What can I do?"

You seriously want someone here to tell you what to do about twenty years worth of mistakes, failures, experiences, and interactions? These are a part of EVERYONE'S life. How can anyone TELL you how to fix yours?

I still don't see the first LEGAL question. All I see is a litany of complaints about how the whole entire world has done wrong to you, yet none of it, even the obvious poor choices, are YOUR responsibility. It's ALL someone else's fault. Sorry--voluntary victimization isn't my cup of tea.

Oh, take it from someone whose graduate school thesis was a
Phenomenological Study of Internet Stalking, answering two messages on a legal forum is not only not "cyber stalking", your allegation that it is cast serious doubts on the accuracy of your other claims as well.

You can sit here all day but no one can 'fix' you.

You have to fix YOURSELF.