Barbie Ann, the compulsion to keep things even though they are broken is an obsession for some people. It is all borne of the anxiety of having to make a living in trying times. Please don't tell him you want him back if you don't. Just keep things as cool as possible. If he used to abuse you physically, he might again. Same for your child.

The shelter idea that Grace mentioned would be the place you should investigate just in case it becomes dangerous to stay where you are. You NEED an alternative place to prevent him from having complete access to you after he realizes you want a divorce. It may not be today. It may not be necessary at all, but you know him and you must be the best judge as to what will enrage him. Fear of loss is big on that scale. If you go, please do not leave your child there. If the child can be trusted not to discuss your directions with him, then you must tell her where to go if there is a problem. That should not be the shelter, but it could be the office of the group that runs the shelter. That keeps you and her safe if things go bad and you have to get out while she is absent. She will have to find her own way there and that is reasonable given her age. I hope you also have a friend where she can spend a night waiting on their office to open. Perhaps the person who runs the shelter would let her call at home if it happens.

You should keep focused on the income generation for later. You have handled the stress for years... a year longer will fly by if you don't say something in anger that lets him know you want out. Who knows? After a year you might have enough income to assist him in paying the bills so that his anxiety lessens. You might find him more reasonable by then. Never say never. Just do what you have to do and keep a calm face on.

Good luck.