I want to preface my comments by stating first of all, I am not 'siding' with the judge. In fact, the opposite is true. I cannot imagine her taking one child (if she thinks the child is in danger) and not the other. On the other hand, she may think a child that is older may be in school and may not need the supervision that a younger child might.

Also, it concerns me that you comment on putting on a chain and they 'get out'----the reason they are getting out is because they are UNATTENDED---unwatched. And, I don't mean to be critical or unkind--but you need to know that from other people's perspective---mine as a former school teacher, now law student and mom of seven children, what you are describing is NOT normal behavior. I've never had any seven of my children get hurt like you are describing---no broken bones---no burns, no stitches---that doesn't mean this doesn't happen-it just means that the children being watched and supervised can cut DOWN on the incidents of such things happening. The chain on the door keeping them in addresses part of the problem, but just because they are essentially locked in---doesn't mean they are being taken care of, OR watched. Do you understand my point? I am not trying to criticize your parenting--I'm trying to point out a critical difference.

Also, it troubles me a bit that you keep blaming the judge. Her actions may not make sense to you but it is her job to err on the side of safety and keep your child safe when she THINKS you cannot. This doesn't mean you cannot, it means she isn't convinced you can. That's where your part comes in---your compliance with the court order, your parenting classes---all of this demonstrates you willingness to address and understand the problem and for that you are to be commended. But you cannot blame a third party trying to FIX the problem for the fact that the problem exists in the first place---you and your ex are to bear responsibility for this situation even happening. Now--that doesn't mean the judge wasn't unreasonable---I suspect she may have been. But, you need to understand that the responsibility is with you and your ex and the care of these children---that is the catalyst that prompted the judge to get involved in the first place. Understand?

An example: A guy is drunk and he drives. He gets pulled over by a cop. Cop arrests him for DUI. He blames the cop---everything was ok if the cop had just let me drive the next block to his driveway. But, the problem wasn't the cop doing the stop or arresting him--the problem STARTED with his actions---the drinking and driving. The parallel is ---this problem started with two people who need to learn about how to parent--and you are doing that and that is a good thing in your favor. But, don't lay the blame solely at the feet of the judge. Understand?

Do your part---and do as I said, petition the court for a reconsideration of your case. If you are eligible for legal aid, keep asking--keep pestering them, if need be. Don't be rude, but keep calling, seeing them, impressing upon them the importance of this situation. Being persistent speaks to your sincerity and determination to make this situation right.

Also, about the child support--I understand your feelings of frustration being ordered to pay child support when you don't have a job--but think a moment of the situation in reverse. A father who doesn't pay and is out of work? the child STILL has NEEDS. The child still is hungry, needs hot water, clothing, medication, etc. That doesn't stop because you are out of work. In the judges eyes, ordering you to pay is the MOTIVATION to find another job, even if these difficult times financially. And I do know about that---I only taught school for a few years before having my seven children--and I home schooled and did not work out of the home---so we were limited to one income for the majority of those years---so I know how it feels to struggle to get by --and there were times my husband was out of work--with seven children---trust me, I feel your frustration and worry about how to take care of your child when you don't have a job. Now, being a widow with seven school aged children---perhaps I understand even better.

I said all of that to say, your struggle is not unique---it is common and everyone feels it and understands it to some degree.

You are doing well. Asking a judge to recognize that and reward that behavior is not unreasonable. Keep asking legal aid---you never know when they might have a few minutes to give you--if for no other reason than to get you to stop calling and asking for help. (smile).