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Originally Posted by mr.rwhite
I am a father that wants rights to my daughter. I live in Georgia and she now lives in my hometown in Florida. She only blocks away from my mother and they get to see one another all the time. The problem is that I can't see her unless I just pop up to my mom. My daughter's mother will not allow me to see her or let her come visit me. I am now married and my wife and I have to 2 children of our own. The last two times I went down, she finally let me spend some time with her but will not allow her to come back to Georgia with me. A few years back she would not allow me to see her at all and I told her that I wanted to pay child support and she told me to leave them alone. So to protect myself I put myself on child support. I went down to the child support office and filed papers. Well my daughter's mother would not and still hasn't filled out the papers in order for her to receive the payments. The child support office has sent me a statement stating that they have sent her several information packets so she can fill them to receive support. She stated that she does not want me on child support because then I will get visitation, but regardless I should be allowed to see my daughter. So did what I felt I needed to do so that it will not come back to bite me later. What can I do about that? We are about 8-9 hours away from each other so I don't expect to get her every other weekend, so I would like some type of joint custody. I don't anything about where she goes to school her doctor. Nothing unless I have my mother snoop around and give me information. I don't think she is abusing her or anything. She does neglect our daughter, but I know the fight for full custody will be just that.... a fight. I just want custody so I can have her during the summer or holidays.. ANYTHING... Everyone says get a lawyer, but what's the best way to do that when I live in Georgia and she lives in Florida. Any advice would be great.
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First of all, paying child support is not "buying" visitation rights. If a court order is in place that establishes that you have court ordered visitation, she doesn't have the right to keep you from it ( i.e. violating the court order). However, it is difficult for you to assert your right to equal time to the child while you live hundreds of miles away. What you are expecting and asking for isn't , as a matter of practicality, feasible. There is no way for you to have access to the child when you are living so far away. If you want to be a significant part of your child's life, MOVE. It's all about choices. If she isn't doing the paperwork, go to court and ask them how to force her to comply---especially if she is on public assistance, she can be ordered to comply.
Joint custody isn't practical hundreds of miles apart--can you imagine the havoc that would bring into your child's life?
While your ex's attitude is obviously a problem, it can be overcome by a court order that specifies your visitation in clear terms. However, the distance issue is a significant factor she can use as leverage against you. It isn't reasonable to imagine a child on a plane flying alone to see her other parent once a month, or however often it happens. I know, as a mom, I wouldn't put my child on an airplane alone.
While I commend you for taking action regarding paying child support, the distance is a real obstacle that has to be addressed by two willing parties, and I don't see that happening--not on your ex's end, at least.
I know you are getting tired of hearing it--but you are going to need an attorney to sort this out--and no, it isn't uncommon for parents to not allow minor aged children to cross state lines, especially very young children.
Good luck.