Quote:
Originally Posted by J2008
I need advice regarding 2 different issues that i am faced with. The first issue that I may be faced with is a charge from talking on the internet with a girl who I met in an 18 and older forum. Later after talking with her a couple of times I learned that she had misrepresented her age. She was only 16 and I am 21, after some talking and and some research we decided to go out since there is no legal ramifications to just dating so long as no sexual activity occurs. A little while after this her biological mother comes to visit her at her home. Her biological mother finds out that we are dating and proceeds to threaten me. This is the exact message she sent me.
This is reguarding your contact with a minor (**********). This is to inform you to stop all contact with this minor. If all contact doesn't deceased you will be reported.
I am worried about the problems that might occur with this and what I should do since I do not really want to break up with her. I am wondering if she can even legally threaten my freedom of speech like that. Not only is she threating that but I would lose the job that I am trying to get with the state and all my creditability towards many other possible jobs in the future. I really need advice and I need it fast since my girlfriend will want to talk soon if her mom just did this behind her back. Please help me I have no idea what to do. I have no problem with waiting it out if I need to but I wish I could at least tell her i was there waiting for her. What should I do?
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A lot of questions come to mind, such as ---why would you want to be with someone who 1. lies about her age 2. disrespects her parents wishes and 3. Who is mentally and emotionally leap years behind what a 21 year old should be? Furthermore, what grown adult man (or woman for that matter) would want to encourage a minor aged child to disrespect and disregard his or her parents wishes? You are walking in a mine field.
There is no law against talking with minors. However, now that her parents have told you to stop, you must stop contacting her since they have legal authority over her. They can pursue a no contact order against you--even if all you are doing IS talking. But, if they have logged chats, etc. and it has ever been sexual in nature, you need to realize the possibilities they could pursue with such evidence. This is not a free speech issue---the Constitution doesn't grant you the right to date or chat with minors ( calling her your girl friend does nothing but give them a chance to paint you as a predator).
I guess the question you need to ask yourself is---is this little girl WORTH the possibility of having to register as a s3x offender for the rest of your life ( should the situation escalate). Is this little girl worth you sacrificing your career opportunities ( they are slim for s3xual offenders) and your future chance at happiness with a grown up real woman, family, etc? Don't sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate.
The best thing you can do for this little girl is to encourage her to respect and obey her parents and allow her to STAY a little girl. Find someone your own age to play with. A minor child isn't the answer. With so much to lose, why risk it? Very foolish indeed.
And, before you reply it is her "choice" to contact YOU and misrepresent her age, according to the law you have a duty to ascertain her age--which you said you did---and once you knew she was a minor, regardless of the fact that she originally lied about it, you continued to contact her and are , in fact , calling her your girlfriend. YOU are the adult and you can be held legally responsible, whereas she cannot be held to the same standard as you, an adult.