Gentlegrace,
THank you for the reply and I wanted to clarify and answer some of your questions. The custody arrangement is that he gets visitation every Tuesday from whatever time he or his wife pick my son up until 8pm, every other weekend from Friday evening until Sunday evening and he gets 30days in the summer. I have done my best to include my ex in our son's everyday life but he constantly refuses. The decreased amount of time is of his doing, as he is the one that requested the decrease, per his own words 'I can not give our son the time and attention he deserves'. Our son is usually only involved in two activities per year, typically football and basketball and I do my best to get on a team where the practices do not occur on Tuesdays but as you are aware with sports activities, games are typically played on weekends and I do not have any control over that. I am not the type of parent that enrolls their child in tons of activities just for the right to say my child does this or that. The only time that I enroll my son in activities is when he asks to play because he enjoys the comradering and interaction that he gets from playing sports. I've been very accomodating to my ex, perhaps two much because now he thinks that all he has to do is complain and threaten me and I will give him his way instead of doing what is best for our son. Here's an example.... since before kindergarten our child has had learning difficulties...he is in the appropriate grade level but he has encountered some learning blocks along the way and last school year his teacher recommended that he attend summer school because it would help him keep what he learned fresh in his mind and help him this school year. I informed my ex of this and that I was going to ask the teacher to submit the paperwork for him to attend summer school but he refused because it interfered with his wedding plans across the country. I tried to explain to him that we can work the schedule out where he would arrive a few days after him in order to attend his wedding but also attend summer school without penalty of being withdrawn for missing too many days. He refused and said he was not changing our son's ticket. I later found out that our son wasn't even allowed to attend the actual ceremony and had to stay at his new stepmother's family's house until AFTER the ceremony to go to the reception. Now this school year our son is feeling the effects...while he is not failing he has struggled and his teacher has suggested he repeat the current grade to get a fresh start and better outcome. Another example, I have always included my ex in the daycare/summer camp decisions but he never makes the time to check the places out and/or gives me his input...after weeks of waiting I will make a decision and he gets upset b/c his input is not in the decision and so he refuses to help pay as per the court order. I have since stopped asking for his input with regards to simple things as these but I always make sure he is included in MAJOR decisions such as education, religion, medical/health issues. I am not trying to take any time away from my ex...quite the contrary I've done nothing but try to encourage that my ex attend more activities (both school and sports) on days that aren't his visitation time but he always refuses. He misses out on some of his visitation because his side business (an Amway type business that barely makes him a profit of $50 a month) or choir concerts take precendence over time with our son.