Thread: In Over my head
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Old 05-13-2008, 09:51 AM
GentleGrace GentleGrace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A.M.Y. View Post
I am going through alot of different issues and don't know where to turn. On June 17, 2007 My familys home partially burned, My husband also decided that was a good time to ask for a divorce leaving my four children and myself without a home or an income as he also decided that helping us maintain some kind of support was not in his future plans. I later found out that the woman he left us for was a violent stripper who enjoyed threatening my children and myself and he had turned to drugs and alcohol to drown his self pitty instead of communicating his emotional delema. In july i had a nervous breakdown and instead of careing for our children while i was in the hospital like he promised, he sent our four children to his sister in another state they had never met after scareing them with threats to them and about me. When discharged from the hospital i went to this state to retrieve my children and was not permitted to do so with threats of loseing permanent custody by his sister. I did not realize she was lying so was stuck in this state proveing myself fit for three months before returning to WV. On April 6 of this year I was admitted to the hospital with an overdose, (another misunderstanding).During this time mt children were placed in foster care and my husband filed for divorce, custody, and forged my name on a document relinquishing custody to him with imaginary attorneys and a notary i have never heard of. I want my kids, i love them very much, i would never give them away and this signature is obviously not mine. I would like to prove this and charge him with desertion in the divorce but am very ignorant of the law, my husband has gotten away with alot in the last ten years, i would like to put an end to his ten foot tall and bullet proof theory. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

First of all, the day your husband left and said it wasn't in his plans to pay child support, why did you not go to the court that DAY and request a child support order?

A lot of your posting has holes that need to be filled. You state "I was stuck in this state proving myself fit for three months before returning to WV". To whom did you have to prove this? A court? At the end of three months were you given your children? Where are they now?

Another hole is "On April 6 of this year I was admitted to the hospital with an overdose, (another misunderstanding)." What part of this is a misunderstanding? You weren't admitted to the hospital? You were admitted but were misdiagnosed as a drug overdose?

You have to understand that, taking your posting at face value, I do not believe a court would find either you or your ex husband fit parents. I am not trying to be unkind--I am telling you how your situation appears to an impartial, disinterested ( in a legal sense ) party. While your husbands actions are reprehensible, if what you say are true, it appears that on many levels, you are not ready to undertake the parenting of your children either. Often in life, when physical or mental issues make it impossible for one to care for themselves, much less others, perhaps it is in your children's best interest to remain in a stable ( and safe ) environment, even if it is foster care.

That being said, you need to make demonstratable steps toward recovery. Attend parenting classes, get some "clean" time under your proverbial belt so when the time comes to go to court, you have the ability to say to a judge, "Here is where I WAS, in my life, HERE is where I AM, and here is where I am HEADED."

A final note--the fact that your ex sent the kids to live with his sister may not be a bad thing in the eyes of the court. Perhaps he recognizes that they aren't or weren't safe with him and his new shack up/wife and perhaps the court woudl applaud him for realizing and adapting in the best interest of the child.

Of course, I don't know that to be the case, but it is a possibility.

It appears as though you both have a lot of healing as well as maturing to do. I would advise you to get on with the business of growing up and being stable and dependable so too much time doesn't transpire to the point where your parental rights are terminated.

Good luck.
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