05-10-2008, 09:15 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzy
Hard to summerize what is going on but will try.
Met a girl off of the internet (I Know now NOT a good idea) felt bad for her, she claimed she was in an abusive relationship. She lived in California I lived in Indiana. Invited her to get "away" from him and stay with me. She brought her one son with her. Turns out she had a daughter her mom was raising and another son she left with the "abuser"? Again I know red flags.
Told me she was on a shot for birthcontrol. Short relationship. she had rage issues. less than three months later she was on her way back to California. Met the ex at the train station. shortly after they got married. Told me she was pregnant .. was mine .. then wasn't. Now she says the baby is mine. He is about 9 months old. timing does fit that he could be mine. The husbands name is on the birthcertificate. State of california contacted me asked for some of my information. I am confused.
If I pursue paternity .. she is stating I WILL not have visitation unless I go there! Job does not allow me time for that.
I want full or partial custody. If he is my son. Do I have many rights? She has all kind of issues. I currently have custody of my 5 year old daughter and provide well for her. I want to do the right thing. One minute she is telling me to get lost. The next she is asking why I don't come there! I have offered to send her clothes or anything else she needs even thought I don't KNOW for sure he is mine.
Any advice? Half the people say wait to see if anything gets filed and the other half tell me to push for custody!
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When you decide what it is you want, seek an attorney for help in establishing paternity first & foremost. It may turn out you're not even involved. I'd also strongly suggest you make sure that attorney is also licensed in the state that the child currently resides as well, especially with the state already in contact with you. The courts will decide the best interests of the child in the end .. right now, in my opinion, you need to decide what part you want in your child's life (if in fact, it does turn out to be yours) .. and then proceed with good legal counsel. It's always recommended that the birth parents at least attempt to work out a mutually satisfactory custodial/visitation arrangement that serves the child's best interests (saves the court time and money.) If that doesn't work out, you'll need legal help, particularly with another name already on the birth certificate. In some jurisdictions, that just complicates matters and personally, I wouldn't recommend you attempt this on your own. Many family attornies offer free prelim (face to face) consultations and there should be one in your area that can better counsel you.
Just another opinion/suggestions, of course, not to be construed as legal advice. As you've already stated, this is the Internet and personally, I think you're wise to be cautious (even here.)
Best of luck to you.
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